


No More Lonely Nights

by rinji_chan1



Series: Fanfic Exchanges [4]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Sakuraiba Exchange 2020, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23731324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinji_chan1/pseuds/rinji_chan1
Summary: [Repost from the Sakuraiba Exchange 2020]After mourning his wife’s death, Aiba takes a break from his music career and reunites with his old friend, Sakurai Sho.
Relationships: Aiba Masaki/Sakurai Sho
Series: Fanfic Exchanges [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676314
Comments: 7
Kudos: 16
Collections: Sakuraiba Exchange 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Maaitaiyou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maaitaiyou/gifts).



> Title for this fanfic was taken from a song of the same name by Paul McCartney

Sho narrowed his eyes, focusing on the center of the target. He threw the dart towards it, but it fell short, landing on the outer area, along the other scattered darts. “Shit,” Sho blurted out.

“Relax, Sho-kun, besides no one has ever hit the bullseye.”

Sho turned to the older boy sitting down, leaning over the wooden table near him. He held a cigarette in one hand and white wisps of smoke came out from his mouth.

“Have you got extra for me, Ohno-kun?”

Ohno put his cigarette back in his mouth again, pulled out from the pocket of his navy blue jacket a packet and tossed it over to Sho, who caught it. Sho opened the packet and took out one of the cigarettes. “Um, lighter?” Sho said.

Ohno stood up and went to him, taking out his lighter and putting it against the tip of the cigarette in Sho’s mouth, the bright flame reflected in Ohno’s eyes. “You should cut your hair.” Sho said. “You look like a woman.”

Ohno raised his eyebrows. He put back a lock of his long hair behind his ear. “Why? You afraid that I’m your type?” He teased.

“Fuck you. You’re not.”

Ohno pouted. “Hmph, homophobe. And yet you still hang out with me here in my parents’ music bar. People might think we’re boyfriends, you know.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I’ve known you since kindergarten for crying out loud.”

There came a tapping sound; the two turned their heads to the glass door. A young school boy came in and approached them. “Sho-kun, Ohno-kun!” He said.

“Jun?” Sho said, taking hold of his cigarette between his two fingers.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Junnie boy,” Ohno greeted. “What brings you here, squirt?”

Jun opened his mouth, but before he could speak, the door had opened again and two boys came inside the bar. They wore the same uniform as Jun’s and carried what seemed to be guitar cases on their backs. “Wow, seems like a great place to do some gigs…” The shorter one between the two uttered as he looked around. Meanwhile, the taller one set his gaze towards the three of them, and for some reason, Sho thought that the taller boy might’ve been looking at him, so he looked away.

“And, who are these two?” Ohno said. “There’re enough idiots already under this roof, I don’t need two more.”

“Oh, they’re my schoolmates, Nino and Aiba,” Jun said, pointing at the shorter boy and the taller boy respectively. “They want to borrow the recording studio.”

Ohno grabbed Jun by the collar, their noses nearly touched. “You told them about my parents’ recording studio?” Ohno said and gritted his teeth.

“W-Was I… not supposed to?” Jun stammered.

Ohno pushed him out of his way. Jun ran to Sho and hid behind him. Ohno approached the two school boys, looking at them from head to toe. “Why do you boys want to use the studio anyway?” He asked.

“We’re part of our school’s music club,” The boy named Aiba said. “So, we wanted to ask if we can record our songs using your-”

“Songs?” Sho said, intrigued. “You guys write songs?”

“Yeah, and we sing them too.”

“Isn’t that a surprise?” Ohno said and rolled his eyes.

“We just want our fellow club members to have a hands-on experience.” The other boy named Nino said. “And maybe, if the record’s good enough, we could send it to professionals and music agencies as a portfolio of some sort.”

“We heard from Jun that your family’s into music bands, and that’s why we’re here,” Aiba concluded.

Ohno clicked his tongue. “Exactly for how long are you planning to use the studio?”

“From 5pm until midnight, I guess,” Aiba said.

“Midnight, really? With a twelve years old?” Ohno said, pointing his cigarette at Nino.

“I’m sixteen,” Nino said.

“Whatever!”

“Come on, it’s just for one night. Please let us use it,” Aiba pleaded.

“Fine,” Ohno said. “Fifty thousand for an hour.”

“What? That’s too expensive!”

“Thirty thousand.”

“Twenty-five.”

Ohno crossed his arms. “Thirty thousand per hour, take it or leave it.”

“Can’t you let us use the studio for free?” Nino said.

“Shut up or I’ll rip out that baby face of yours!”

“We’re only students,” Aiba reasoned with him. “Our parents would kill us if we asked for that amount of money!”

“Then earn it,” Ohno mocked them with a smile.

Ohno turned away from the two boys and walked back towards Sho. “Don’t be so harsh to the kids.” Sho said. “Why don’t you just let them use the studio? It’s not like they’re babies who’d break and chew stuff.”

“What are you? Are you some kind of saint?” Ohno said. “First of all, it’s a private studio; only my parents and a certain circle of friends use it. Second, my parents will kill me if I let them use it for free!”

Sho looked at Ohno and the two boys, back and forth. “Hey, boys,” Sho called out to them. “How about we make a deal?”

“Sho, what the fuck?” Ohno whispered.

“Relax, I know what I’m doing,” Sho said, and brushed him off. “You boys see that target? If one of you hits the bullseye, you get to use the studio for free. If not, you guys have to go back home to your mommies.”

“Deal,” Nino replied at once.

“Um, Sho-kun,” Jun crept to his side and then whispered to his ear. “Nino plays shooting games at the arcade, so he’s used to this kind of stuff. I even heard he’s a rank one.”

Once Jun stepped back, Sho went to get the darts and then approached Aiba. “I’m choosing you as player,” Sho told him. “You only get three tries. You’re up for it?”

Aiba glanced at Nino first, probably to look for reassurance; then he looked back at Sho to give a single nod. “Alright,” he said, taking the darts. “I’ll play.”

As Aiba went to stand in front of the target, Ohno went Sho’s side and whispered to him. “Why let them play a game we know they won’t win?”

“Because that’s the best part,” Sho said.

“Wow, and you had the guts to call me harsh earlier?”

The two darts fell short and missed. Sho and Ohno snickered at Aiba’s failure and frustration. Aiba gazed at the two of them, and before Sho knew it, their eyes met again. Then, all of a sudden, Aiba smirked. Sho felt his heart leap out of his chest. Aiba turned his gaze to the target, holding his last dart. His expression was totally different from earlier; it was more confident, more precise. He threw the dart and it pierced through the very center.

Sho gaped at him, dumbfounded.

“For your information,” Aiba said. “I’m rank number two.” He then let out a smirk again. One side of Sho’s face started to twitch as he tried to conceal his frustration.

Jun, who stood beside Sho, started to mumble his pleas. But before he could start nagging, Sho was pulled in and faced with a fuming Ohno. “I’m gonna make you pay for this,” Ohno said. “Literally.” He then let go of Sho, and, with no other choice, went to Aiba and Nino. “Follow me.”

Ohno led them into the control room. It was a cramped space with a divider, which had a window. A lone mic stand could be seen on the other side, along with the speakers attached to the ceiling. Nino squealed and jumped with joy, running towards the mixing console.

“If you brats want to try out the mic, get out and find the door to that room yourselves,” Ohno said. “And don’t break anything!”

Nino, along with Jun, looked at the mixing console with awe. The two boys quizzed Ohno, asking him what this and that was for. As the three kept chatting, Sho simply watched them, leaning against the wall.

Aiba was still at the door, staring at thin air. Sho couldn’t tell if it was out of shock or if the boy was just in a daze. Sho turned his face away from him once again. “Looks like I underestimated you,” Sho said out loud on purpose.

Sho heard Aiba chuckle. He had come back to his senses. “Surprised?” he said.

Sho sensed Aiba approaching him and leaning against the wall as well. Sho glanced at the boy. He still had that annoying smile on his face. “So, you and that Nino guy write songs, huh?” Sho said.

“Yeah.”

“What kind?”

“All sorts; we don’t really stick to one genre. Though, Nino’s a much better songwriter than me, in my opinion,” he remarked. “You?”

“Ohno and I can sing. Ohno’s the better singer, but I can rap. I can play piano too.”

There was a glint in Aiba’s eyes. “Well, that’s interesting,” he said.

Although Sho kept looking away, he could still feel Aiba’s eyes on him. “Wanna join our band?” Aiba asked. “You and Ohno-san?”

Sho whirled his face around towards him. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, it would be fun. The more the merrier,” he said. “We do need a pianist for our band.”

Sho bit his lip, overwhelmed by the sudden offer. “I don’t know,” he said. “My parents want me to focus on my studies. I don’t have time to do those things.”

“Well, in case you change your mind, you and Ohno are always welcome,” Aiba said.

“Hello, hello!” A voice blasted throughout the room, piercing their eardrums. Sho and Aiba quickly covered their ears with their hands. Looking ahead, they found that Jun was on the microphone in the other room. “Can you guys hear me there?” he said.

“Loud and clear, J,” Nino replied into his microphone.

“Too loud, actually,” Ohno said.

Sho then put his hands down in relief, and Aiba did the same.

“And I guess Jun can join as well,” Aiba said, and Sho chuckled.

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.”

***

“Cheers!” They said and gave a toast with their glasses of beer, the foam nearly flowing out of the rim. Aiba took a quick sip while he watched Nino, who was sitting next to him, chug the whole thing down.

“Yo! Easy, easy…” Aiba lightly patted on Nino’s shoulder, not wanting to shock the other and make him spit his drink out like a fountain. Nino slammed the glass down onto the table and gave a haughty laugh.

Sitting on the other side of the table was their manager, Ikuta Toma. “Congrats on the new UB album!” Toma said. “I heard it reached number one on Spotify.”

“Really?” Nino said. “That was fast!”

“Shall we have another toast then?” Aiba brought his glass up front. The two men laughed in response.

“Let’s!” They cheered.

Everywhere Aiba looked was merry and bright. Nino and Toma’s smiling faces shone, and it strained Aiba’s eyes. The icy cold beer burned his throat as he drank it. Even such celebration couldn’t fill up the emptiness in his heart.

It had been a year since Aiba’s wife died. It had been a miracle that Aiba still managed to participate in the making of the album while mourning. There was not a day when he wouldn’t think of her, especially whenever he would come back home after work.

Only when Aiba walked into his bedroom did the weight grow even heavier. The place she used to lay had gone cold after many nights. Aiba had forgotten the touch of her warmth. How he longed for it again; to be able to embrace her once more, to be able to tell her how much he loved her. But there was no way to turn back time to do all that.

Aiba still couldn’t accept it. He couldn’t.

“You’re real quiet tonight.”

Nino’s voice had reached him. Aiba found himself back in their green room. Toma was sleeping on the couch; his body was twisted in a weird way, and Aiba could clearly see a trace of drool on his face. He seemed to have been knocked out by all that alcohol.

“You sober?” Nino said.

“I think I should be asking you that.”

Nino yawned and laid down on the floor. “Thank you for your hard work~” he said with a grin.

Aiba wrapped his arms around his legs and sighed.

“You’re still thinking of her, aren’t you?”

The question caught Aiba off guard. “Of course, I am,” he said.

“I knew you were. It’s written all over your face, even during recording sessions.”

Aiba buried his face in his hands. All this time, Nino noticed it. Was his sadness really that obvious, no matter how hard he tried? Did Toma, the other band members, and their staff know as well?

“I’m sorry for bringing it up,” Nino said. “But, I can’t stand seeing you just… try. You’re a bad actor, you know that?”

“I didn’t want to let you down,” Aiba said. “You, Toma, and everyone… I bet Yukie too would tell me to keep going and finish the album.”

Thinking he had drawn the line, Aiba stood up and started to pack up his things. He put on his black cap and his coat. Turning around, he found Nino sitting up and looking at him.

“You wanna take a break from the band?” he said.

“What?” Aiba said. “And go into hiatus? No way!”

“Come on, Aiba, you need it.” Nino said. “You can come back once you’re back in shape. Besides, we’ve got nothing to lose now; no need to rush with another new release or anything. You get me?”

Aiba took hold of his guitar case. “Yeah, I get you,” he said, and went towards the door.

“You’ve always thought of others, but just for once, please, focus on yourself.”

Aiba stopped in his tracks. His hand was about to hold onto the doorknob, but he withdrew it. Maybe he should listen to Nino’s advice for once, even if Nino was sometimes a nutcase when it came to solving his own problems, taking big risks and being rowdy towards the press.

“I’ll think about it,” Aiba said, and he went out.

Aiba twirled his house keys with his fingers, the pieces of metal clanging while bumping into each other. The elevator doors opened and Aiba stepped out of the vehicle. He could hear his own breathing while he walked down the front walk. Reaching the door, he inserted the keys into their respective lock, twisting it open. Aiba opened the door with precaution, cringing when it made a creaking sound. It was already one o’ clock in the morning; he didn’t want to wake up his children from their slumber. He quickly stepped in and closed the door. Aiba took off his shoes, putting them on the shoe rack, and grabbed his slippers to put them on.

“I’m home,” Aiba whispered.

“Welcome home.”

Aiba jolted and peeped out to look into the living room. His eldest daughter was sitting by the coffee table, holding an open book in one hand and a pen in the other. Her only source of light was her lamp, which hovered over the book. The soft glow of the white light lit the edges of her face and her braided twin tails.

“Reiko, you’re still awake at this hour?” Aiba said.

“I’m still doing my homework,” Reiko replied. Her voice sounded rather drowsy.

“What about the twins?”

“They’ve been sleeping for about five hours now.”

Aiba turned the kitchen lights on instead of the living room’s in order not to make Reiko’s eyes get shocked by the sudden glare of the ceiling lights. He remembered it was Reiko’s final exams soon. Next school year she would be a senior, and soon she’d be going to college. It hit Aiba all at once; Yukie would never get to see her graduate.

Aiba approached her and sat across her. “Hey,” he said, with a soft voice. “Right after your finals, let’s all go to Chiba.”

“Eh? Why so suddenly?” she said. “We just went there two weeks ago. Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened. We’re just going to stay at your grandparents’ for the whole summer,” Aiba said.

“Well, alright. I’ll tell my friends about it then,” Aiba then patted her shoulder, a habit he got from Yukie.

“I miss your mom,” he said.

“We miss her too.”

Then, a silence fell between them.

Reiko stood up, taking her book and her pen along. “I’ll be going to my room,” she said. “Good night.”

“Good night,” Aiba said and gave way for her to walk to her room. The door closed shut and Aiba let out a sigh. He laid his head against the sofa and stared at the radiating lamp. It seemed calming to look at it, even if he could feel his eyes go dry. But Aiba figured that would be good, so that he wouldn’t be able to shed a tear.

***

It was summer once again. Sho never thought the sun would shine down upon him like this, along with the blazing heat. He was sitting on a bench, watching over, from a distance, his son playing with other kids around the park. They ran on the green fields of grass with glee, not a hint of exhaustion on their faces.

Sho wished he had their stamina; it seemed like the heat was only affecting him. Then again, it had been a while since he stepped foot outside the house. To be surrounded by only four walls every time can get boring, even if the walls were decorated or if the room had beautiful furniture. As time passed by, Sho had grown tired of living his life as a stay-at-home dad.

Meanwhile, his wife, Naomi, was one of the top employees in the company she works at. Back then, she had a much higher salary than Sho’s. When their second son, Yuji, was born, their schedules clashed.

“How about you quit your job and take care of our sons instead?” she said. “We can manage with my salary alone.”

Sho admitted that it was a sound idea, which is why he went with it in the first place. What he failed to realize though was the fact that she got him where she wanted him to be…

“Daddy!”

Sho lifted his eyes from the ground and looked at Yuji. Alongside him were two kids, a boy and a girl, who appeared to be a few years older than Yuji. If Yuji was only four, they were probably eight. There was a sense of familiarity as he looked at them, especially the boy. The brown hair, the almond eyes, and the way they smile… At that moment, something rekindled in his mind, but he couldn’t point out what.

“Daddy, can we go to Mamoru and Mitsuru’s house?” Yuji said. “They said I could come to play with their toys and have some snacks!”

Yuji looked so pure and innocent, clueless to Sho’s inner conflict. “Yuji, we can’t.” Sho told him.

“Why not?”

“Yuji, mommy said that I—we can’t go too far,” he then said. “Your brother might be waiting for us back home.”

“It’s alright, Yuji’s dad! Our house is very near,” the boy, Mamoru, stated.

“It won’t take long! Please, let Yuji come to our house,” the girl, Mitsuru, said.

“Please?” Yuji tugged his sleeve.

Sho then sighed. “Alright,” he said. “We’ll go.”

“Yay!”

The two children then led the way. They walked on a path which passed by a strawberry field. Red, luscious fruits were being plucked out and put into a basket by a group of farmers. It was tempting for Sho to pluck one out for himself. Even if no one would notice, he didn’t want to be a bad example. After all, he was the grown-up. Wasn’t he?

True to their word, the house wasn’t that far. It was a traditional Japanese house which had a gorgeous veranda. The sliding door opened and out came a tall man who wore a cap and was walking towards their direction. The two children ran straight to the man.

“Dad!” They yelled out.

The man came to a halt. “Mamoru? Mitsuru?” he said, startled. As he took off his cap, the man knelt down and embraced the two. “You guys came back without me, huh?” he then chuckled.

Sho stopped as he took a closer look at the man. The rush of nostalgia overcame him. Brown hair, almond eyes, and the same old smile…

“Aiba?”

Aiba lifted his gaze and gasped the moment he saw him. “Sho-chan!” he exclaimed. and stood up. A smile blossomed on his face. Sho never thought he would ever see that smile again.

“It’s really you, huh?” Sho blurted out as Aiba came towards him to give him a hug. “Such a small world…” Sho hugged him back, touched by such warmth. It almost made him want to cry.

When they parted, they found the three children curiously looking at them. “Dad, you know Yuji’s dad?” Mamoru asked.

“Oh, yes,” Aiba said. “Sakurai-san is my dear friend, Mamoru. Just like Ninomiya-san.”

“Oooh,” they exclaimed while nodding.

“Dad really does know a lot of people, even Sakurai-san,” Mitsuru then said.

“Yes, he does,” Aiba said, laughing. “Good to see you here!” he said to Sho, putting his arm over his shoulder.

“Yes, it has.” Sho said. The three children went ahead to go inside the house, while the two adults walked in a slow pace as they started to reminisce about the days of their youth. “How have you been? How’s your band doing?” Sho asked.

“UB’s still going strong. Last time I checked, our newest album got into the top fourth slots.”

“Wow, that’s great! Congrats.”

“How about you?” Aiba said as they went up to the veranda. “You’re still teaching music in college, right?”

“Oh, not anymore,” Sho said, sitting down to take off his shoes. “I resigned a few years ago.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, my wife got promoted and she couldn’t take care of the kids, so I decided to stay at home instead,” Sho explained.

Aiba nodded. “I see,” he said. “That’s good; you get to spend more time with your son. What’s his name?”

“Yuji.”

“Is he an only child?” Aiba asked.

“He has an older brother, Hiro. He’s in school, taking guitar lessons at the moment.”

Aiba raised his eyebrows. “He takes after you, then?”

“Well, I guess; he’s not into piano though.”

“Hey, that doesn’t matter,” Aiba said. “As for me, my eldest daughter, Reiko, is planning to become a doctor. And the twins, well,” he cocked his head. “I’m not exactly sure yet.”

Sho then stood up and stepped inside the house. “How old are they? Your twins?”

“Six. They’re going to be in grade one this upcoming school year.”

“I thought they were older because of their height.”

“It runs in the family.”

Sho chuckled. “Yeah, I figured that one out.”

“Have a seat,” Aiba said, gesturing to the wooden chairs.

“Thank you, but I’m fine.” Sho walked by the shelves filled with picture frames. One had a picture of a young Aiba with his parents, and the photo looked like it had been taken on that same veranda. The next was a recent photo of Aiba’s parents; it appeared to have been taken inside a studio. It was then followed by a couple of pictures of Aiba and his family—the twins, an older daughter, and Aiba’s wife.

Sho remembered her; he met Yukie when he attended their wedding. That was the only time they met. She was indeed beautiful, like every bride on their wedding day should, but what stood out was her radiance and gracefulness. In that moment, Sho knew that Aiba was very lucky to marry such a woman.

“Where’s Yukie, by the way?” Sho asked. “Is she here?”

It took a long moment for Aiba to reply. But before Sho could point it out, Aiba finally spoke up.

“She passed away,” he said.

Sho whirled around. He found himself faced with the stiff and sullen expression of a man, who he remembered as the boy with joyful pride; the man who always lifted up the spirits of his fellow friends.

“Cancer,” Aiba said. “She died of brain cancer.”

“I’m sorry,” Sho said. “I- I didn’t know.”

“It’s alright.”

Sho sat on one of the wooden chairs like Aiba had offered him to. He wasn’t aware that Yukie actually died; the news never reached him. Sho kept his head low, embarrassed by his mistake.

“Care for a drink?” Aiba said.

“I’ll just have water,” Sho said sheepishly.

Aiba went over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, taking out a bottle of water. He took a glass, poured the water in it, and went to give it to Sho.

“Thank you,” Sho said, and put it down on the table. Aiba sat across him, with one foot resting on top of his other knee. Sho felt welcome and pleased to see Aiba was as comfortable as he could be but, having brought up the subject earlier, the elephant in the room remained.

“For how long has she been gone?” Sho took the courage to speak up. “If you don’t mind me asking…”

“About a year and a half.”

Sho held onto his glass of water with both hands. The whole atmosphere had totally changed. He drank half of the water and rested his glass on his lap. “How did your kids manage?”

“It took them three months to get used to it,” Aiba said. “As for me, I’m still under that process.”

“Well, I’m just glad you’re still… healthy, you know. Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you,” Aiba’s expression had softened. Sho smiled. Aiba had indeed grown up to be a fine man. His baby fats were long gone, the corners of his chin visible. There were also a few wrinkles on his face when he was serious. But Sho knew he was still the same boy whom he was fond of.

“Dad?” the voice of a young girl came from behind. Sho looked over his shoulder and found a teenager coming towards them. “Dad, have you seen my—oh.” She gaped at Sho the moment she realized his presence.

“Reiko, this is Sakurai-san,” Aiba said. “He’s a friend of mine.”

She nodded in reply, and then she bowed to Sho. “It’s nice to meet you,” she greeted him.

“Nice to meet you too.” Just like her younger siblings, she had a great resemblance to Aiba. The difference though was that her eyes were a bit rounder and her nose was more slender too; she most likely inherited those features from Yukie.

“Dad, where are my comic books?” she asked Aiba. “I can’t find them.”

“Eh? I know I brought them into the house. Are you sure they’re not in your room?”

“I’ve looked everywhere but I couldn’t—ah!” she then gasped, seeming to have had a realization. “Mitsuru!” Reiko rushed into the hallway and went inside the twins’ room. Although Sho couldn’t understand a word from a distance, he knew all the uttered mumbling was actually a sibling quarrel.

“Excuse me,” Aiba said and stood up, proceeding to go towards the hallway. Sho stood up as well and followed him to the bedroom door. The two of them went in and immediately they saw Mitsuru kneeling on her bed, cornered by her elder sister. It seemed that the little girl was holding one of Reiko’s comic books.

“But I wanna read it!” Mitsuru said, hugging the book close to her chest.

“Give that back to me! That’s mine!” Reiko said. “And you’re too young to read it!”

“Mitsuru,” Aiba called out to her. The little girl glanced at him and pouted. She held out the book, giving it to her sister without looking her in the eye. Reiko snatched the book and held it up high, making sure her sister didn’t get any ideas and tried to get it back.

On the other side of the room, Yuji and Mamoru were playing with toy cars on a mini race track, oblivious of the earlier fight between the two siblings. “Yuji,” Sho said and the boy turned to his attention. “We have to go home soon; it’s getting late. Hiro might be waiting for us.”

Yuji frowned. He looked down at the toy car he was holding, spinning the wheels against the palm of his other hand, before giving it back to Mamoru. “Okay…” Yuji then stood up and said his goodbyes to the twins before going to Sho.

Yuji held up his hand towards him and Sho took it. The two of them along with Aiba went out of the house, stopping at the veranda, where Sho and Yuji put on their shoes again.

“Well, it was nice seeing you again,” Sho said as soon as he stood up.

“You too,” Aiba said.

Sho went to embrace him again. He laid his head onto Aiba’s shoulder. “You have a lovely family, Aiba,” he told him, and he heard Aiba let out a little chuckle.

Sho let him go, stepping away from him. “Thank you,” he said.

“You’re welcome.”

Sho then took hold of Yuji’s hand and walked their way back home.

“Bye!” Aiba yelled out, waving his hand.

Sho whirled around and mirrored him, raising his hand as high as he could, until Aiba went back inside. Sho felt an ache in his heart as he turned to face the front.

“Daddy, can we go to their house again?” Yuji asked.

“We’ll come back one day, Yuji,” Sho said. “Hopefully.”

***

A familiar tune resonated throughout the whole supermarket. The words ‘I love you’ were being repeated over and over; the beautiful harmonies were hypnotizing. The accompaniment too just washed all the worries away. Aiba couldn’t help but smile to himself, because it was their song—UB’s song.

Aiba was bobbing his head while walking along the aisles of foods and drinks. He glanced at the paper in his hand; he had written down a list of what the kids wanted him to buy. The twins ordered the usual things: cornflakes, chocolate biscuits, and banana milk. Reiko, on the other hand, had told him to buy some beauty products, each item of a specific brand. Reiko had always been very picky ever since she was a little girl, after all.

Aiba reached out for the tetra packs of banana milk and put it in his basket. He turned around and when he did, he spotted a familiar figure from afar. He recognized his ebony hair and his sloping shoulders.

Sho was pushing his cart as he walked. Aiba also spotted little Yuji tailing Sho, each step at time. “Sho-chan!” Aiba yelled out.

Sho stopped on his tracks and turned around. His eyes widened when he spotted them. “Oh, Aiba!” he exclaimed.

Aiba went towards him. “We meet again! Such a small world.”

“Indeed,” Sho said, smiling.

“Hey, Yuji,” Aiba greeted the boy with a wave of his hand. The boy smiled, seeming to remember his face, though he held onto Sho’s leg as some source of courage.

“You’re doing grocery shopping too?” Sho asked.

“Not really,” Aiba replied. “I just needed to buy new blades for my shaver, but the kids wanted me to buy some stuff for them too,” Aiba said, showing the list to Sho.

Sho chuckled. “I can’t believe you actually made a list for that.”

“I’m quite forgetful you know.”

“Yeah, right, but you can play all the guitar chords just fine.”

“I play bass for UB,” Aiba remarked. “Not guitar.”

“Bass or guitar, it’s the same thing.”

“No, it’s not, you pianist.”

Sho scrunched his nose. “Well, aren’t you in a really good mood today?” he said, playfully.

Aiba felt his cheeks warm up a little as he smiled. “By the way, could you help me out?” he then said. “Do you know where the beauty products are?”

“Yeah, sure, follow me,” Sho said, and Aiba followed his lead.

When they reached the right aisle, Aiba scanned the shelves up and down, looking for the items Reiko told him to buy. He found and took the night-time facial cream, the sun care face and body lotion, and the nose strips. The last item he needed was the toner.

There was a whole row of toners neatly arranged on one shelf. Aiba noticed that each box of toner had a specific color; some were blue, some were pink, and so on. He didn’t know which one to pick since Reiko didn’t tell him. He took one of the pink boxes.

“Is it this one?” Aiba said, holding the toner towards Sho.

“Why don’t you just read what’s on the package?” Sho said.

“The text’s too small, I can’t read it.”

Sho rolled his eyes. “Could I see the list again?” he asked. Aiba then gave him the list. Sho read it for a moment; he then took the toner with a green box and gave it to Aiba. “Here.”

Aiba took it and looked at both boxes back and forth. “What’s the difference?”

“The one I gave you is for oil control,” Sho said.

“What about the one I took?”

“Whitening.”

With that, Aiba put the pink box back where it was and put the green one inside his basket. “You know, for a guy with two sons, you seem to know a lot about beauty products,” Aiba said.

Sho laughed. “It’s because my wife makes me buy that stuff for her,” he said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, even her make-up.”

“You know, whenever I hear about make-up, it reminds me of that time Ohno made all of us wear eyeliner.”

“Oh God,” Sho said, his face turning sour. “I looked hideous wearing that.”

“Yeah,” Aiba grinned. “Your eyes looked like they were bulging out.”

Sho then glared at him. “Yes, thank you for pointing that out.”

“Oh, come on; don’t be ashamed of those pretty big eyes of yours.”

“Will you cut it out?”

“You really haven’t changed one bit, Sho-chan.”

“Neither have you.” The two of them then laughed.

They arrived at the cashier, with Aiba going first. Yuji was looking at the lollipops displayed on the shelves, tugging Sho's pants and pointing towards them. "Which one do you want?" Sho said.

"Chocolate!" Yuji said.

Sho went to take a closer look at the lollipops. "I don't think there's a chocolate flavor, Yuji."

"But I want chocolate!"

"There's no chocolate lollipops."

Yuji was beginning to whine. Aiba knew how this would end up, and he didn't want to witness another child's tantrum again. Aiba took the chocolate biscuits he bought and went to Yuji, offering them to him "Hey, I have some chocolates here. Do you want this instead?"

Yuji averted his eyes. "Lollipops," he said.

"Do you like strawberries?"

Yuji nodded.

"Do you want the strawberry lollipop instead?" he asked, but Yuji kept quiet. "Okay, how about I give you the chocolates and you also get the strawberry lollipop?"

Yuji looked at Sho before making a decision. "Okay..." he said.

Aiba sighed with relief.

Outside the supermarket, Sho attempted to carry all his grocery bags while walking, only to put them down every time, his hands turning red. “Want me to help you?” Aiba said.

“No, it’s fine,” Sho said while groaning.

Yuji, who was a few steps ahead, was watching Sho with the newly bought lollipop in his hands. "Daddy, hurry up!" he said.

"Daddy's trying, Yuji," Sho said.

Aiba had grown impatient watching Sho having difficulty carrying his stuff. Although he had to go back home, his kids probably wouldn't mind being on their own for a bit longer. Besides, he trusted Reiko to take care of the house since she was the eldest.

When Sho let go of the bags once more, Aiba rushed forward and went on to carry two bags. "Hey!" Sho said.

"Come on, you don't want Yuji to wait all day, right?"

Sho bit his lip and carried the rest of the bags.

"That's the spirit!" Aiba said as soon as Sho had catched up to them.

"Shut up!"

"Please lead the way and take us home, daddy!"

Sho whirled around, glaring at him, and his lips motioned: 'fuck off'. Aiba giggled.

They walked on a path where the trees loomed over them, shielding them from the harsh rays of the sun that peeped out from the edges of the leaves once in a while, leaving spots of light on the asphalt road.

Aiba remembered a similar memory. The image of the five of them walking home together entered his mind. The two of them, along with Ohno, Nino, and Jun. They were so young and carefree back then. He sometimes wished for those days to come back.

At the end of the road, there stood a two-story house. It was cream white, contrasting itself from the greenery surrounding it, and it also had grey roof tiles. Sho swung open the gate and went in. He left it open for Aiba to enter. As they went up the doorstep, Sho rummaged in the pocket of his pants and took out his door keys.

Sho opened the door and let Aiba in first. “You don’t need to remove your shoes,” Sho said.

Aiba put down the bags at the corner of the doorway. He looked around and his eyes followed the stairway, going up, looking at the ceiling and then went back down again. Yuji went upstairs along with his chocolate biscuits and his lollipop.

Aiba looked to his left side and entered the cozy living room. Parts of the floor were covered with a beige ethnic-patterned carpet. There was a sofa, a wooden coffee table, and a flat screen TV on a console table. He also noticed that the living room was merged with the kitchen and the dining room.

“Your wife’s not home?” Aiba asked.

Sho carried the grocery bags one by one and took them to the kitchen table. “She’s currently on a business trip,” he said.

“When’s she coming back?”

“I don’t know.” Sho shrugged. “In a month or two?”

Aiba raised an eyebrow. “That’s some kind of business trip.”

“She’s working in the Osaka branch,” Sho said, defensively. “So, sometimes she sleeps in her apartment there instead.”

“Alright, that’s understandable.”

Aiba turned around and saw that at the corner of the living room was an upright piano. He got closer to it and pulled its little chair out to sit on it. He touched the fallboard with his fingers, and it left a mark, the dust sticking to his fingertips. He lifted the fallboard and some of the dust dispersed, causing Aiba to sneeze.

He lightly put his hands on the piano keys. They were clean but he could see they had turned yellowish in color. Aiba pressed a few random keys; although they had aged, their sounds remained smooth and fluid.

“What are you doing?”

Aiba turned towards Sho, who was now standing beside him. The older man stared at him, aloof, like Aiba had done something wrong. Aiba drew his hands away from the piano. “I just wanted to try playing it,” he said.

Sho put down the fallboard at once. His gaze lingered on the piano, sentimental and full of longing.

“You haven’t played in a while, have you?” Aiba said.

“No,” Sho said. “There’s no reason for me to play it.”

The words prickled Aiba’s heart. “I’m sorry…” he said, at a loss for words. It was surreal to hear Sho say that. It didn’t feel right. Sho may have quit his job as a music teacher, but he couldn’t be the type to give up his love for playing the piano all together. Was there another reason then?

All of a sudden, there came a knock on the door, and the two turned their heads toward the doorway. They heard the door swing open and a boy walked in.

“I’m home,” he said. The boy was carrying a guitar case on his back. When he looked in their direction, Hiro flinched as he set eyes on Aiba. He seemed to be startled by his presence.

“Oh, Hiro,” Sho said and approached the kid. “Welcome home, my boy.”

Sho placed his hands on Hiro’s shoulders, bending over to give him a kiss on the forehead. The boy cringed, wiping his forehead with his hand when Sho turned his back to him.

“Aiba, this is Hiro, my eldest son,” Sho said. “I told you about him last time, remember?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Hiro, this is my friend, Aiba-san.”

The boy had the same ebony hair, big eyes, and pouting lips. Aiba couldn’t help smile. “Hello, Hiro,” Aiba greeted him.

Hiro looked at him from head to toe, his eyebrows furrowing. “Oh, come on; don’t just stare at him, Hiro,” Sho said, patting the boy’s shoulder. “You know it’s impolite not to greet guests, right?”

Hiro took one last glance at Aiba before running up the staircase, followed by the sound of a door slamming shut. Sho let out an awkward chuckle. “Sorry, he’s a bit shy,” he then said, scratching his head.

“He looks just like you,” Aiba remarked.

“Yeah, he gets that a lot to the point it annoys him.”

Aiba chuckled. “That’s cute,” he said. “Well, I guess I’ll be going now.” He went to take up his grocery bag from the floor.

“Oh, alright, take care,” Sho said. “Say hello to your parents for me.”

Aiba nodded. “I will.”

“Thanks for helping out too.”

“No problem,” he said with a smile.

Sho opened the door and Aiba stepped out of the house. “Bye,” Aiba said.

“Bye. See you around,” Sho said and closed the door shut.

“What took you so long?” Reiko said as soon as Aiba arrived. The twins were playing with their toy trains on their coffee table, focused on their own imaginary world, oblivious of Aiba and Reiko’s presence.

“I kind of took a detour.” Aiba said. “I bumped into Sakurai again and had to help him carry his groceries.”

“You met Sakurai-san again?” She exclaimed.

“I saw him by chance.” Aiba gave the bag to Reiko, who began to get her beauty products out of it.

“Wow,” she said, in a flat tone. “That’s some coincidence.” She then returned the bag to Aiba.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know, like, are you sure it’s really by chance?” Reiko narrowed her eyes.

Aiba took out the box of chocolate biscuits and offered it to the twins. The two children let go of the trains at once, taking the biscuits from Aiba. “Thank you, dad!” they said in unison.

Aiba then turned to Reiko. “What on Earth are you implying, young lady?” he asked, putting his hands on his hips.

Reiko shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t give me that,” Aiba said, mimicking her shrugging. “Speak up.”

“I mean, isn’t he…?”

“Isn’t he what?”

“You know,” she averted her eyes. “ _That_. Is he not?”

“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.” Aiba turned away, bringing the bag with him, and went to the kitchen.

“Dad,” Reiko chased after him.

Aiba opened the refrigerator and put the tetra packs of banana milk inside.

“Is Sakurai-san gay?”

Aiba whirled around. “What?”

“I’m just asking!” she said. “He just seemed really feminine when he came here last time.”

“Reiko, he’s a married man.”

“So? I heard some gays are like that.”

Aiba shook his head and closed the refrigerator. “Look,” he said, putting the bag on the kitchen table. “Just because a guy’s feminine doesn’t mean he’s gay, alright?”

“Uh, I already know that.”

“Yeah, yeah, but you get my point, right? I’ve known Sakurai-san for a long time and we haven’t seen each other in years.”

Reiko crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

“He probably got influenced by some of his friends, you know,” Aiba continued. “But, I know he’s not gay.”

“Fine, if you say so.” She rolled her eyes. “Sorry if I judged your friend.” She then walked away from him.

Aiba shook his head and sighed. “What’s gotten into her?” he mumbled. He sat on his chair, watching the twins play and eat the chocolate biscuits at the same time.

Sho wasn’t gay, as far as he knew. If he was, it shouldn’t really matter. If Sho found a woman to marry then that was good for him…

_‘There’s no reason for me to play it.’_

The words still lingered in his mind, causing him to let out a sigh. There was a feeling in his gut that he didn’t like. “No reason, huh?” he said while closing his eyes.

***

Aiba groaned and put down the heartfelt note his mother had left them at the dining table. There were four large bento boxes stacked up like a tower. Aiba took each box and checked its contents. There was indeed a dozen dumplings in each box.

_‘You’ve grown thin, Masaki. Please eat up.’_

Forty-eight dumplings all in all. His head started to ache. How was he supposed to eat this much?

“What on Earth is that?” Reiko said as soon as she noticed the bento boxes.

“Your grandma’s just worried about my health, even though she shouldn’t be.”

Reiko huddled closer and looked into the boxes. “Dumplings?” she said. “Oh, wow, it’s all dumplings!”

“I know.” Aiba sat down on his chair, defeated. “God, what should I do?” he mumbled.

“Well, I could eat one of the boxes for you.” Reiko said. “But, I don’t think the twins will appreciate eating this stuff.”

Aiba tapped the table with his fingers. He watched Reiko open one of the boxes, getting one dumpling to try and take a bite. He didn’t want to disappoint his mom, who had cooked all these dumplings, which were his favorite ever since his childhood, before going to work in their family restaurant. He needed to take the other boxes somewhere to someone who’d be able to understand his situation. Someone who’d appreciate his mom’s cooking as much as he does…

Aiba then stood up from his seat. “I’ll be going out,” he said.

“Where are you going?” Reiko asked.

“I’m going to give these to Sakurai-san.”

Reiko coughed, nearly spitting out the chewed up dumpling inside her mouth. “Sakurai-san?” she said. “Again?”

Aiba walked past her, going straight to his room to get dressed. “You’re in charge while I’m gone, alright?” he said to her.

“Aren’t I always?” Reiko replied and proceeded to eat another dumpling.

Aiba found himself knocking on Sho’s door once again. He tapped his foot and whistled as he waited. The door opened and he could see for a second Sho’s expression had faltered. “Aiba?” Sho gaped at him.

“Surprise!” Aiba sported a grin. But Sho remained with a serious expression.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Oh, my mother cooked extra for lunch today,” Aiba said, holding up his bag. “So I came here to share it with your family.”

“Well, thank you,” Sho said, humbly taking the bag.

The two stared at each other and neither of them said a word. Aiba had already done what he needed to do. There was no need to linger, wasn’t there? But he couldn’t move his feet and turn away. There was something that had drawn him to spend some time with his friend.

“May I come in?” Aiba asked.

“Sure, go ahead.” Sho stepped back to let Aiba through. He then closed the door as soon as Aiba was inside. “Hiro’s still at school and Yuji decided to take a nap,” he said.

“What were you doing before I came here then?” Aiba asked.

“I washed the dishes, cleaned the house, mowed the lawn; and… that’s pretty much it.”

Aiba chuckled. “You really are a house husband.”

“I am.”

Aiba walked into their living room and saw that the TV was kept on. He didn’t really care much on what channel or what show it was, but the topic was about stocks and other business stuff that Aiba couldn’t wrap his head around. While Sho went into the kitchen to put the dumplings into the refrigerator, Aiba sat down on the sofa and took the remote control from the coffee table.

“Can I change the channel?” he asked.

“Yeah, no problem,” Sho said.

Aiba looked through the channels, switching from program to program, until he stopped on one channel. Appearing on the TV screen was a man with messy-looking hair, a curvy smile, and a mole on his chin.

“Is that Nino?”

Aiba looked to his side and saw that Sho had his eyes glued to the screen. “It’s a replay,” Aiba said. “I watched it last Saturday.” Looking back at the screen, Aiba saw himself again on TV.

“Really?” Sho sat beside him. “You guys actually got invited to a variety show?”

“It was to promote our album.”

“Oh my God.” Sho’s face was beaming. “What the heck? You should’ve told me you and Nino would be on TV!”

“I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“What are you talking about? Of course I’d be interested!” he exclaimed.

Aiba fidgeted on the seat. He shouldn’t be here sitting down on Sho’s sofa, watching a replay of UB in a variety show. Heck, he shouldn’t have gone inside in the first place. Also, Sho was interested? Even though he quit the band a long time ago?

 _‘Uh… Underwear?’_ Aiba’s voice resonated in the room, and Sho suddenly burst with laughter.

“You idiot!” Sho playfully hit Aiba’s shoulder. “What kind of answer was that?”

“How was I supposed to know?” Aiba exclaimed.

Sho bent down, wrapping his arms around himself as he kept on giggling. “God, I haven’t laughed like this in a long time,” he cried out.

Aiba looked at the man beside him laugh to his heart’s content. Although he was embarrassed and frustrated that Sho had witnessed his idiotic side, Aiba was quite pleased seeing his dear friend having a good time, enjoying his company like he did back then.

Aiba remembered how swift and precise Sho’s movements were as he played piano when they performed at the music bar. The joy on his face, the sweat dripping down his hair and his face; during those moments, he was shining. Which was why it had pained him when he had learnt that Sho had decided to leave. Aiba didn’t understand how he came to that decision.

“As expected from that competitive jerk, Nino got it,” Sho blurted out, still focused on the TV.

Just how different would their lives be if no one left? Would they have stuck with each other until the end or would they still end up separating after a period of time? Aiba figured that maybe it'd be alright either way. Just sitting down and watching TV…

But he’d always do that with Nino and Toma, so why did watching TV with Sho seem special? Did he really miss his friend that much?

_‘There’s no reason for me to play it.’_

Sho’s words came to his mind again, and the wrenching pain was still there within his chest. How could someone as passionate as Sho give up on his love for piano just like that?

“Yes?”

“Huh?”

“You were staring at me.”

“Oh,” Aiba averted his eyes, flustered. “It’s nothing, I just… my mind drifted off,” he said.

 _‘Yoshaaa!’_ Aiba’s voice from the TV filled up the silence between them, drawing Sho’s gaze back to the show. “God, you look so happy,” Sho said.

“Of course, I was starving.”

“God, that looks delicious!” Sho exclaimed. “You lucky bastard.”

Aiba let out a laugh. “It’s been a while since you’ve called me that.”

“You were always the lucky one, besides Nino.” Sho remarked. “Like, come on, UB’s doing well, getting featured on TV and all. I bet you guys are famous there in Tokyo, huh?”

“Not really,” Aiba said. “Besides, it’s not like UB has Kohaku standards.”

“Are you kidding? I bet a few years from now, you guys will get a part in Kohaku, I’m sure of that!”

Aiba chuckled. “You’re so optimistic.”

“You flatter yourself anyway,” Sho said, and Aiba laughed again.

The TV segment ended and was followed by a recorded performance of Nino and Aiba singing their new song. The solemn melody flooded in, and although Nino’s guitar always caught everyone’s ear, Aiba recognized his parts and could hear them well. His soft-spoken bass was hidden beneath all that noise, but it was the very foundation of the song.

Sho listened to the song in silence, closing his eyes. Aiba wondered how Sho would hear the song. Did he dissect the whole thing in his mind, listening to each instrument, or does he hear it as a whole? Aiba was curious to know what Sho thought and felt about it.

“The bass sounds really lovely.”

Aiba’s heart stopped for a second. It was as if Sho had read his mind there and then. “Really?” Aiba said, cracking up a smile. “If so, I’m glad.”

Aiba caught a glimpse of his smile.

“You know, sometimes I wonder how different it would’ve been if you three hadn’t left the band.” Aiba said. “First it was Ohno, then Jun; and then you quit last minute before our debut…”

“I just thought it wasn’t for me,” Sho said. “I mean, come on, I can’t imagine hip-hop me jamming with rock and roll guys like you.”

“It would’ve been fun though, trying to come up with a common ground or get experimental.”

Sho sighed and shook his head. “You’re still holding onto the past, aren’t you?”

“Why? Is that bad?” Aiba said, jokingly.

“No, that’s not what I meant...” Sho’s voice wavered. Aiba’s smile had faded into a frown. ”I... I just couldn’t go on without them, Jun and Ohno,” Sho then said.

Aiba then looked down to his feet and bit his lip. Loud chatter erupted from the TV, already showing another show. “I wish I could hear you play the piano again, at least once,” Aiba said.

Sho didn’t give any reply. He was more distant than ever, even compared to the time before they met again.

“There shouldn’t be a reason, you know,” Aiba added, with Sho’s words in his mind. “You don’t need one. Just play…” his voice then drifted off.

Aiba stood up. “I should go,” he said and walked out of the room. When he made it to the door, he let out a sigh. He finally said it; he took the risk. If his relationship with Sho would have to end there, that would be fine. It didn’t matter if Sho would say something behind his back afterwards.

“Aiba,” Sho called out to him.

Aiba whirled around and found the man right behind him. There was a shine in Sho’s eyes. Aiba couldn’t tell if the older man was about to cry. But Sho took a deep breath, probably to refrain himself from shedding a tear.

“Thank you, for what you just said.”

“You’re welcome.” It was the only reply Aiba could come up with, but thankfully it had brought a soft smile on Sho’s face.

“I’ll give you back the bento boxes as soon as I can.”

“Okay.”

“Could I hug you?”

Aiba blinked. “Huh? Why?”

The corners of Sho’s cheeks turned red. “Nothing, I just…” He then averted his eyes.

“Well, alright,” Aiba said. “I don’t mind…” His words were cut off as Sho suddenly went to wrap him in his arms. Aiba followed suit, though he was still puzzled by this whole scenario. Sho’s grip on him was rather tight, which wasn’t very comfortable at all, but Aiba decided not to bother Sho and let him take his time.

Sho lifted up his head and took a step back. His cheeks were still red.

“You good?” Aiba asked.

Sho nodded. “Yeah.”

Aiba opened the door and stepped out of the house. “Bye,” he said.

“Bye.”

As soon as Aiba closed the door, confusion started to creep into his mind. _‘What was that?’_ he wanted to scream out. It was odd to see that side of Sho, who wasn’t the type to be mushy, towards him at least. On the bright side, it was quite thrilling to see how much his friend had changed over the years, being a stay-at-home dad and all.

“You again.”

Aiba turned around and found Hiro by the gate. “Oh, Hiro,” Aiba said, approaching him. “You’ve come home already. Your dad’s inside—“

“I know what you are,” Hiro said, interrupting him. “You’re of their kind.”

Aiba furrowed his eyebrows. “What kind?”

“People like you are trying to steal dad away from us,” he said. “Then he’ll forget about us and leave us.”

Aiba felt his knees buckle. “Who told you that?”

“My mom did,” he said proudly. “She said that one night, dad didn’t come home. She went out to look for him and found that he was hanging out with a queer and had got drunk.”

Aiba blinked a few times. Did he actually hear that right? “A queer?” he said. “You know what a queer is? What it means?”

“I’ve never seen one, but she said that if a man with tanned skin comes to our door, she told me not to let him in.”

Aiba brushed his forehead with his fingers. First there was Sho being weird, and now this?

“Basically, mom rescued dad from that queer and took him back home,” Hiro said. “You see, mom loves dad very much, that’s why she told dad to quit his job and stay at home instead so that he’ll be protected from those queers.”

Aiba buried his face in his hands. He didn’t know how much more patience he had left before he would start to lose it. He knelt down to the same height level as Hiro, and looked at him eye to eye.

“Hiro, I’m just a friend of your dad’s, alright?” he said. “I’m not going to take your dad away from your mom. I’m not taking him away from you and your brother either.”

“I don’t believe you,” Hiro said. “And you can’t make me think otherwise!”

The boy then passed by him and walked to their doorstep, without looking back, followed by the slam of the door. Aiba stayed kneeling for what felt like five minutes before standing up and going on his way, back home.

It was already night-time. His parents and his children had already gone to sleep, while Aiba was still up, watching TV and sitting on the couch. He still couldn’t get his conversation with Hiro out of his mind. It was haunting him; Hiro somehow knowing what queers are, Hiro thinking he was a queer, and worst of all, Hiro had that kind of thinking because of his mother. How on Earth did Sho end up with such a strange family?

Aiba’s phone lit up and vibrated on the coffee table. He picked it up, answered it, and held it close to his ear. “Hello?”

“Aiba!” That high-pitched voice greeted him.

“Hey, Nino,” Aiba greeted him.

“How are you doing? Enjoying your break?”

“I’m doing fine so far,” he said. “I’m in Chiba right now.”

“For how long?”

“Until summer ends, I guess.”

“I see. How’s your kids?”

“They’re doing fine as well. A bit bored too, maybe.”

“That’s natural,” Nino remarked. “My kids get bored too whenever we visit their grandparents’ home, especially when they’ve got no gadgets to play with.”

“Your kids sound very much like you.”

“Don’t rub it in.”

Aiba laughed. “Oh, by the way, I actually got to see Sho again a few days ago…” He paused, suddenly remembering what happened earlier. “I also met him earlier as well.”

“Sho?” Nino said. “Sakurai Sho?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, I haven’t heard from him in a long while.”

“Neither have I.”

“How is he? Still single or?”

“He’s married. He’s got two sons.”

“Neat. That’s the best amount,” Nino chuckled. “Are they musicians like him? Does either of them play piano or something?”

“His older son plays guitar.”

“Guitar? That’s great! We’ve got new recruits for UB now!” Nino laughed.

Aiba couldn’t bring himself to laugh along. Then, it dawned on him.

_‘Queer.’_

_‘A man with tanned skin.’_

“Nino?”

“Yeah?”

“If you don’t mind me asking, but, have you been in contact with Ohno lately?”

Aiba was then met with silence.

“Hello? Nino, are you still there?”

“Yeah,” Nino said. “I’m here.” And then, there was silence again.

Things had got ugly between Nino and Ohno in the past. Right after Nino and Jun’s Coming of Age day, Ohno had become distant towards Nino. Moreover, almost every rehearsal the two of them would argue, even over the smallest things. Ohno didn’t like this, but Nino didn’t like that, and so on. Ohno even criticized Nino saying he wasn’t artistic enough. Plus, Ohno was more into dancing than singing in a band, and so he quit.

“I haven’t heard from Ohno-san in a while either,” Nino said. “Why? Did something happen?”

“I was just wondering, you know.” Aiba scratched his head. “I mean, you guys got quite close back then; and it’s been years since Ohno left our group, so I thought it would be okay to…”

“It’s alright, Aiba,” Nino said. “It’s alright. I’ve heard Oh-chan’s still running that music bar.”

“Where did you hear that from?”

“A mutual friend,” he said. “Anyway, I’ve got to go.”

“Okay, thanks for calling by the way.”

“Yeah, you too; thanks for telling me all that.”

“No problem.”

“Bye-bye.”

The call ended and Aiba put his phone back down on the table. He was again at a loss. He shouldn’t have brought up Ohno; it had somehow been an unspoken rule between them not to ever mention Ohno. He needed to stop thinking about the whole Ohno and Nino thing. He needed to stop thinking about his conversation with Hiro, and about Sho’s odd behaviour…

“Oh, Yukie…” Aiba broke into tears. “If only you were here, you’d know what to do.”

***

Sho put down the tea tray onto the coffee table and, taking the teapot, filled the cups with aromatic green tea. He glanced at the man across him, sitting on the carpeted floor. Aiba scratched his left cheek while waiting for his tea. A sigh was let out, but not by either of them, but by the boy who was sitting on the sofa.

Sho could tell Hiro was restless, although he didn’t know why. “Here,” Sho said, giving Aiba his cup of tea.

“Thank you,” Aiba said, and took a sip. He put the cup down and exhaled with relief.

Sitting next to Aiba was Yuji, who was busy drawing with his crayons, marking the white paper with flashy colors. Aiba kept taking glances from time to time, curious to know what Yuji was drawing. “You were saying?” Sho said to Aiba.

Aiba’s eyes flicked toward him. “Oh,” he uttered. “I was cleaning up my parents’ house and I happened to find these,” he then said. He took the bag he had brought from his lap and opened it. He took out its contents, – small children’s books and some cute stuffed animals, – putting them on the floor, in between him and Sho.

“It’s some of my children’s old stuff; I already cleaned them up, by the way,” Aiba said. “I wanted to give them to Yuji.”

Sho’s heart had grown soft. “Oh, Aiba… Thank you, really,” he said. “I haven’t even repaid you for the dumplings last time.”

“It’s alright. You don’t need to give me anything in return.”

“Wait, what?” Hiro said. “The dumplings?”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot,” Sho said. “Aiba-san was the one who gave us the dumplings. You wanted me to order more of those, right? Since you really liked…”

Hiro stood up from the sofa and rushed out of the living room.

“Hiro, where are you going?” Sho said.

“To the bathroom!” he said and went upstairs.

Sho sighed. Hiro wasn’t being easy on him lately, and Sho’s anxiety over it kept getting worse. Coming back to his senses, he found Aiba looking at him again with a meaningful gaze, the same gaze from last time while they were watching TV. “I’m sorry about Hiro,” Sho said. “He’s a bit…”

“I know. It’s alright,” Aiba said, although the tense expression on his face wasn’t reassuring.

“I’ll go get the bento boxes.” Sho stood up and went to the kitchen. The boxes still had droplets of water in it. He took a towel and wiped the corners. 

“Hey, Yuji, what’s that you just drew?” he heard Aiba say from the living room.

“A dog,” Yuji replied.

“Oh, a dog! I love dogs!” Aiba exclaimed. His bubbling enthusiasm had brought a smile on Sho’s face. “What about the other one? What’s that?”

“A cat.”

“Oh, wow, a cat! Are they friends?”

“Yes, they’re playing in the garden with the butterflies.”

Sho chuckled at his son’s innocence. “Aww, that’s cute!” Aiba perked. “Oh! Yuji, I’ve got something for you…”

Bringing the bento boxes, Sho quietly went to take a peek at the two. Aiba was holding up one of the stuffed animals he brought. Yuji chuckled each time when Aiba talked with a funny voice, bringing the toys to life. It was a warm sight, causing Sho to almost shed a tear. He had never seen Yuji so happy with someone. Aiba was certainly a better father than he was. He was sure of that…

Sho turned around and stepped back into the kitchen, letting the two spend more time together.

Sho tucked the sleeping Yuji in. He brushed his bangs away and kissed his forehead. He turned on Yuji's night lamp before stepping out. He gently closed the door and went downstairs. There was still a kid who refused to sleep at this late hour.

Hiro was still on the sofa, watching anime. He seemed to be unaware of his presence.

“Hiro, it’s time for bed,” Sho said. But the boy remained unresponsive.

Sho went across the room to turn the TV off. He then faced his son. “What’s gotten into you, huh?” he said, putting his hands on his hips. “You’ve been acting all snobby today. Even during dinner, you didn’t even bother to eat your meat loaf!”

Hiro crossed his arms and turned his head away from him.

“Young man,” Sho raised his voice. “If you don’t tell me what your problem is, I swear to God…”

“I can’t stand that man coming to our house every time!” Hiro said. “I hate him! And I hate that you always let him in!”

“Oh, so, you’re being a spoiled brat all because you hate Aiba-san? That’s it? That’s your reason?”

“Dad, don’t you see? He’s trying to separate you from us, from mom!”

Sho brought his hands to his face and groaned. He was close to flying into a rage; he cursed at Naomi in his mind. “Hiro,” Sho said, putting his hands back on his hips. “Aiba-san has nothing to do with what’s going on between me and mom alright? I know it’s hard, but you have to understand that your mom and I are going to divorce.”

“I don’t want to understand!” Hiro cried. “You’re a traitor. I wish mom didn’t marry a faggot like you!”

Sho had his heart yanked out. His stern expression faltered, with his eyes turning moist. “What did you call me?” Sho used all his might to speak out each word.

“A faggot. A weak, cowardly, unemployed faggot!”

Sho forced his trembling lips to smile. “You’re gonna talk to me like that, huh?” he said. “Fine.”

Sho stormed out and went up to go to Hiro’s room. He took out Hiro’s guitar from its case and brought it with him as he went back to the living room. The stiff expression of the boy wavered the moment he saw the guitar. Sho gripped the neck tight with both hands. He raised it up, like he would a hammer, and brought it down, aiming it to the floor.

“No!”

The guitar was a centimetre away from breaking into pieces. Sho closed his eyes; Hiro was wailing and it broke his heart. He breathed in and out, trying his best not to cry in front of his son. He placed the guitar on the coffee table. Afterwards, he sat on the floor, feeling exhausted all at once.

The air between them was heavy. Sho took the time to cool off his head and settle himself. He could still hear Hiro sobbing, sniffing and coughing too, in between. Although he had taught Hiro a lesson, he wasn’t proud of doing so. If being refrained from playing an instrument was painful enough, then it would be more painful if the instrument got destroyed. To musicians, it was their heart, their soul. Sho knew that he should’ve known better to not even try to do such a thing.

Hiro stood up from the sofa and slowly approached him. “Dad, I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m really sorry…” He then began to cry again.

Sho sighed, wiping Hiro’s tears away. “I know,” he said. “I’m sorry too.” He opened his arms and Hiro went forward, embracing him. Sho whistled a tune while patting Hiro’s back, just like he did before when Hiro was still a baby.

***

“Special delivery!” Aiba said, holding up a box of his mother’s homemade dumplings.

Sho chuckled. “Honestly, you never fail to surprise me.”

“I thought you said you wanted more.”

“I did,” he said. “Did I complain?” The two then grinned at each other.

Aiba was once again inside Sho’s house. He had already memorized how the interior looked; to the point he could consider it his home too.

“Where’s Yuji?” he asked.

“He’s taking a nap.”

“Aww,” he cried. “I was so excited to play with him. Oh well.” Aiba turned to the living room and, immediately, he spotted Hiro on the sofa, holding his guitar while glancing at a booklet.

“Hey there, Hiro,” Aiba greeted the boy, but he gave no response.

“Aiba,” Sho called out to him. He then whirled around and found Sho on the staircase. “I’m just going to clean up the second floor and I’ll get back to you, is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Once Sho went up and was gone, Aiba went back to Hiro and approached him. He sat down at his usual place on the carpeted floor. He placed the box of dumplings on the coffee table. “You’re really going to ignore me, huh?” Aiba said.

The boy lifted his head and looked at him. “I’m sorry for what I said the other day,” he said, nonchalantly.

Aiba twisted his lips, not at all convinced. Nevertheless, he decided to let it all go. “I accept your apology.”

“I still don’t like you though.”

Aiba sighed. “I won’t force you to like me,” he said. “But I want to have a good friendship with you at least. I understand that you love your dad; I appreciate that. But I want you to trust me. Whatever it is that your mom said about… those people, I’m not one of them.”

Hiro pondered for a while, slowly nodding. “Okay,” he said. “But promise that you won’t steal dad away from us.”

“I won’t steal your dad, alright?”

“Promise?”

Aiba sighed. “Promise.”

Hiro brought his hand forward, extending his pinkie finger. The boy was looking at him dead serious in the eye. Aiba never thought that he’d have to do a pinkie swear in his middle age.

Aiba interlocked his pinkie finger with Hiro’s. “And if you break your promise, I’ll chop your finger off,” Hiro said.

Aiba frowned. “Seriously?”

Hiro didn’t answer and went back to his guitar. He was attempting to do a barre chord, but his fingers kept on trembling, trying to keep it intact.

“Hey, hey, relax…” Aiba said, taking hold of Hiro’s hand. “You don’t need to press all the strings with one finger.”

Hiro glared up at him. His face turned sour, seeing Aiba holding his hand.

“I’ll show you.” Aiba took the guitar away from him.

“Hey!”

“I’m just going to teach you, alright?” Aiba settled the guitar on his lap and positioned his fingers around the neck. “You just twist your index finger a bit and press the first string and the last string. See?” He then strummed the guitar, letting out a smooth and low-pitched sound which lingered throughout the room.

Hiro stared at him with awe for a moment, before frowning again to conceal his interest.

Aiba then returned his guitar to him. “Now, you try.”

Hiro positioned his fingers and attempted to do what Aiba had told him earlier.

“It’s easier, right?” Aiba said.

Gaining confidence, Hiro tried to strum the guitar. However, it didn’t produce the same sound; it was blunt and abrupt.

“It’s alright,” Aiba said. “The more important thing is that you press the strings properly.”

Hiro nodded. “Thank you,” he said, without looking him straight in the eye.

“You’re welcome,” Aiba said with a smile.

“Um,” Hiro uttered. “Dad told me you’re in a band…”

“Yes, I am.”

“Could you, uh, play?” Hiro held out his guitar, offering it to Aiba.

“Oh, sure, I’ll play a song for you.” Aiba took Hiro’s guitar again and began to play a few chords. “I play the bass guitar in the band though, so I might mess up some parts,” he said. “But, I’ll try my best.”

At once, Aiba started playing. It was a song he knew very well enough to play without reviewing it. It was one of the first songs they wrote, long before UB debuted. It was a song the five of them made together. Aiba even had to lower the pitch, since it was originally sung by Ohno. Once he reached the chorus, he was suddenly supported by a backing vocal; turning to his side, he found Sho coming to them and singing along, creating a harmony.

Aiba’s fingers fumbled and messed up a note. “Ah…”

“Why did you stop?” Sho said, sitting next to him. “I was already getting into it.”

“You distracted me.”

“Dad, you know the song?” Hiro said.

“Of course, I do. I wrote it.”

“You mean _we_ wrote it.” Aiba corrected him.

“I wrote the chorus, remember?”

“Whatever! The five of us wrote the whole thing.”

“That’s amazing,” Hiro said. “My dad was a member of the band?”

“A former member,” Aiba remarked. “You should’ve seen how good your dad was! Have you ever seen your dad play the piano, Hiro?”

“No.”

“Not even once?” Aiba exclaimed, and the boy shook his head in reply. “Sho-chan, how could you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sho shouted back.

“Come on, man!” Aiba nudged Sho’s side with his elbow.

“Now, wait just a minute…”

“Do it for Hiro.” Aiba then let out a grin.

Sho’s gaze wavered, looking back and forth at him and Hiro. “But I haven’t played in a long while.”

“Well, play something you know well then, like what I did.”

Sho sighed. “Alright.” He stood up and went to the piano at the corner of the room. He sat down and lifted the fallboard. Aiba and Hiro went to Sho’s side, anticipating Sho’s performance. Sho settled his fingers over the keys, but he didn’t press them. He then bit his lip.

“What’s wrong?” Aiba said.

“Is it okay if you could play along with me? Using Hiro’s guitar?” Sho said. “I don’t think I can do it solo.”

Aiba sighed. He borrowed Hiro’s guitar again, carefully holding onto it, since it didn’t have a sling for him to put on. “What song?” Aiba asked.

“Blue-sky pedal.”

Aiba then tested a few chords before turning back to Sho. “Just tell me when to start,” he said.

Sho gave a nod. He took a deep breath and then counted from three. At once, the look on Sho’s face changed, like he had a switch in his mind, and they started to play.

The nostalgic sound took Aiba back. In his mind, he could hear the other instruments. He could also hear the voices of the other three, singing along with them. He gazed at Sho, who had his eyes focused on the piano. He looked as dazzling as ever; he still had the passion and will. It relieved him to see that part of Sho never changed. Nearing the end of the song, Sho glanced at him with an endearing smile. It was beautiful, nearly ageless. Aiba had loved that smile ever since… He didn’t know why, but whenever he saw it, his heart would skip a beat.

***

Sho gazed through the windows of his house, looking at his front yard. It was already past lunch time, meaning Aiba would be arriving any time soon. Sho had already cleaned up the table, putting the dishes in the sink, before fixing himself up to look more presentable… for some reason.

Sho didn’t know when it started, but it had become a habit for him to do that.

Aiba’s visits had become frequent. He would come to the house to teach Hiro some guitar tricks or to read storybooks for Yuji. Their home became livelier thanks to him. Sho wanted to return the favor. He had given Aiba some sandwiches or tea bags for him to bring home, but it wasn’t enough for Sho.

If it weren’t for Aiba pushing him to play the piano again, Sho wouldn’t even dare to touch it. It felt good to hear the sound vibrating in his ears. He had nearly forgotten what it felt like to pour his emotions in a piece, letting it all out, never holding back. It had given him relief, and most of all, it gave him hope.

Sho looked up at the clock, and it was already three o’clock. Aiba was late.

Sho paced around the living room. This never happened before. He couldn’t help but wonder what that man might be doing. Spending time with his kids, perhaps? Maybe he was helping out at his parents’ Chinese restaurant? Or maybe he just dozed off and forgot to pay Sho a visit.

Sho then stopped on his tracks.

‘Maybe, he did forget…’

Sho went to slump on the sofa, taking a pillow into his arms, squeezing it. The sadness suddenly overcame him, it was strange. He had never felt this way towards Aiba until now. He had gotten used to his presence so much that the house felt empty without him.

“Daddy?”

Sho turned his head to the entryway and found the boy standing in the middle of it. “Oh, Yuji,” Sho said. “You’re awake.”

Yuji held a book in his arms. He had seen that book yesterday. Aiba was reading it to Yuji before the boy took his afternoon nap.

“Aiba-chan won’t be coming today,” he told him.

“Why?” Yuji asked.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

Sho went silent again. He was helpless, they both were. He couldn’t come up with an excuse for Yuji for Aiba’s absence. He could see in Yuji’s dark eyes that he was as devastated as he was.

“Are you sad?” Yuji asked.

Sho pressed his lips. “Yes, daddy’s sad,” he said.

Yuji approached him, climbing onto the sofa. “Is daddy sad because Aiba-chan didn’t come today?” He asked.

Sho widened his eyes at the direct question. It scrambled his mind. Of course, anyone would miss their friend, and yet he felt ashamed to tell the truth. But, then again, this was Yuji. He wasn’t Hiro or anyone else. Surely, the boy wouldn’t give his answer much thought or malice. “Yes, I guess so,” he said. “I do miss him.”

Yuji stared at him with his shiny black eyes. “I miss him too,” he said, setting the book aside. He drew near to wrap his arms around Sho and embraced him. Sho let out a chuckle and patted his hand on his little back. The weight in his heart had lifted, since he had someone to share his sorrow with.

Yuji went back and picked up his book. He opened it and took out a piece of paper that was similar to a bookmark. “Here,” Yuji handed him the paper.

Sho held it and took a glance. It had a colored drawing of a stickman; with simple black dots for eyes, a U for a smile, and mere lines for the body. The only recognizable things were its brown hair and green sneakers.

“It’s Aiba-chan,” Yuji said.

“Yes, I could see that,” Sho said. “It really does look like him.”

“That way, daddy won’t feel lonely anymore.”

Sho gazed at Yuji, who smiled at him, showing his crooked teeth. His heart ached at the sight. “Thank you,” he said.

The two spent the rest of their time having some cookies and milk. Sho also read the rest of the storybook to Yuji before the boy went back up to his room.

Sho stayed on the sofa, looking at Yuji’s portrait of Aiba. He couldn’t help but crack up a smile. He adored it like he had obtained a photo of his childhood crush. He giggled and squealed a few times before his mood took a one-eighty degree turn, the butterflies in his stomach started to disgust him. It made him sick with guilt.

“Oh God, what’s wrong with me?” Sho groaned. “It’s just a drawing…”

It was a simple little thing and yet it meant a whole lot to him. Aiba was the man who came back into his life at the right time, the right moment. In fact, the first time they met was the exact same.

_‘You guys write songs?’_

That was the moment of his breakthrough. Having such a conservative family bored him to death. The music bar where they had crossed paths was the miracle that Sho wished for to pursue his love for music. If he hadn’t gone to the music bar that day, how different would his life be? How dull would his life be if he had never met Aiba Masaki?

Sho stood up and went to the kitchen, bringing the drawing with him. He walked up to the refrigerator and took one of the magnets attached to it. He placed the drawing over the door and put the magnet there. His hand lingered on the paper. A child’s drawing wouldn’t be enough. He needed warmth. He needed someone to depend on.

Sho stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in his pajamas. He put his towel over his head and shook his hair dry. The night was as quiet as ever. Hiro and Yuji had fallen asleep in their beds, and once again, he was alone and awake. Sho had spent countless nights like this. It was the only time he had for himself.

He was sitting on the sofa again, eating some yogurt to satisfy his cravings. He hoped it would help him relax but his thoughts kept pestering him. Other than pushing through with his divorce and finding some job alternatives, Aiba Masaki was still on his mind. All his memories of him were projected like a slideshow, showing them one by one. They were all so precious, so bittersweet; he loved them all. He wanted to keep them forever and relive it all.

A ringing in his ear shattered it. It pricked him like an arrow hitting a target. It was the telephone.

Sho hated that dreaded sound. There was only one person who called through that telephone: his wife, Naomi.

Sho went to the telephone, dragging his feet across the floor. He then grabbed it and put it next to his ear. “Well, it’s about time you called.” Sho said out of spite. “Seriously, at least tell me where you are and when you’ll come back! The kids keep on asking and…”

“Sho-chan?”

Sho’s heart had stopped beating for a second.

He needed to breathe. He needed to say something. _‘Oh God…’_

“A- Aiba?” Sho said. “I’m so sorry; I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t know it was you.”

“It’s alright,” Aiba said. “I just wanted to apologize. I couldn’t come today; I was helping out at my parents’ restaurant. I should’ve called you sooner. I hope I didn’t make you worry too much.”

“No, not at all! I’m glad that you called. By the way, how did you know our telephone number?”

“Oh, Hiro gave it to me. We exchanged numbers in case he had questions for me about guitars and other things.”

“That’s nice,” Sho said. “How are your kids by the way?”

“They’re alright. They’re sleeping already.”

“Hiro and Yuji are asleep as well.”

Their chat had paused there. Sho could clearly hear the beating sound of his own heart.

“Were you about to sleep when I called?” Aiba asked.

“No, I wasn’t,” he said. “I had a lot of things on my mind tonight…”

Another pause.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Sho felt the warmth gather in his cheeks. “It’s not something that I would like to talk about.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Anything else you’d like to talk about then?”

Sho put his hand over his face. “Uh, the album,” Sho blurted out. “Could you buy me a copy? I’ll pay you afterwards.”

“It’s available at the music store, near the supermarket.”

“I know!” Sho said. “I just thought it’d be better if it came from… you.” His heart burst out of him just like that.

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll give you my copy.”

Sho’s knees buckled. “Your—are you sure? It doesn’t necessarily have to be your copy!”

“It’s fine. All the songs are on my phone and on my laptop. You can have it. It has Nino’s and my signature too. I bet Hiro would also appreciate it,” he then heard Aiba chuckle.

“You’re too kind,” Sho said. “Well, thank you.”

“No problem. Anything for you…”

Sho held his breath.

“You’re my friend after all,” Aiba then said.

Sho briefly chuckled, trying to ignore the pinching pain.

“I’ve got to go. I’m feeling a bit sleepy already,” Aiba said.

“Okay,” Sho said. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

Sho put the phone down. He put his hands on his cheeks. They were, indeed, warm. “You’re my friend after all, huh?” he muttered while going back to the living room.


	2. Chapter 2

“You seem to be in a good mood today.”

Aiba looked up at Reiko, who was sitting across him, and raised an eyebrow. “Do I?” he asked, while munching his food.

“You do,” she said. “Like, more than usual.”

Aiba swallowed and picked up another piece of fried chicken using his chopsticks. Hyper-sounding music blasted from the TV speakers; the twins were singing along to the opening song of an anime they watch every noon.

Right after lunch, it would be Aiba’s time to go out of the house. Visiting Sho and his sons had become a routine for him. His day wouldn’t be complete if he didn’t get to see their smiling faces. He considered them part of his family in some way. Yesterday, while he was working at his family’s restaurant, he couldn’t help but think about them, wondering if they were doing alright without him.

Sho’s sudden burst of anger from last night had caught him off guard. He thought he had butchered their relationship again. If he had dropped the call at that moment, he probably wouldn’t have known that it was a misunderstanding.

Indeed, it did seem that Sho had a strained relationship with his wife. Hiro would mention it to him sometimes, though Aiba only got the gist of it. The boy one time mentioned how, when he asked his mom where babies came from, he was told that he had come from wine, while Yuji had come from sildenafil. It took three days for Aiba to get over it.

But his phone call with Sho was reassuring, even if the older man couldn’t open up about his troubles to him, he was fine with that. It had flattered him when Sho requested him to give him a copy of UB’s album. He had felt all giddy at that moment, causing him to blurt out words he never thought he’d say.

 _‘Anything for you…’_ Even after their call had ended, he kept looking back at it, repeating it in his mind. It sounded too romantic when he wasn’t intending it to be. Or was he?

“Um, dad, do you ever plan to get married again?” Reiko asked.

“No,” he said. “Why do you ask?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just curious.”

“Well, I had a lovely wife, and I have you three beautiful children. That’s enough for me, I don’t need another marriage.” He then took his rice bowl and continued eating.

“But you’re dating someone right now, aren’t you?”

Aiba coughed out some rice back into his bowl. “What? No!” he exclaimed, his cheeks heating up.

“It’s written all over your face, so don’t deny it!” she said. “Now, tell me, who are you seeing?”

“I’m not seeing anybody, alright?”

“Oh, really?” she said, tilting her head. “Not seeing anybody even though you always go out of the house during the afternoon and I have to take care of those two devils! I want some time for myself too, you know?”

“I don’t have a date,” Aiba firmly stated. “I don’t have a girlfriend either. I have no time for that, and I don’t plan to.”

Reiko scrunched her face. “You’re no fun.” She shot up from her seat and walked away from him, going back to her room.

“Reiko!” Aiba yelled. “Reiko, come back here!” Her bedroom door slammed close, and Aiba could only bow his head and sigh.

Sho held the CD in his hands. The case was still covered in plastic, which Sho was caressling on the edges. Aiba and Nino were on the cover, looking towards the viewer with serious faces and wearing matching blue sweaters and black pants. Their silver-marker signatures were drawn over their legs respectively.

Sho looked over at the man sleeping on the sofa. Indeed, it was as if he was seeing two very different people. He, Aiba, and Yuji played out in the front yard earlier. They did all sorts of games, like tag and hide-and-seek. They also played catch using Hiro’s Frisbee. As a result, they had come back inside the house all sweaty and tired. Sho had even changed Yuji’s clothes before the boy rested in his bed. Meanwhile, Aiba got himself knocked down, dozing off on the sofa, much to Sho’s annoyance.

Sho placed the album on the table and sighed. He still couldn’t seem to calm himself down, especially with Aiba around. And as always, he was a loser at games. During tag, when Aiba was it, the younger man chased him instead of quick little Yuji. And the thing he ‘really hated’ most was when Aiba tackled him down and they both fell over. Aiba kept on laughing, but Sho could only focus on the fact that they were lying on the grass, that Aiba was on top of him, with their chests touching. Thankfully, Aiba stood up and ran away, yelling that he was it, leaving him lying on the ground, listening to his heartbeat.

Sho felt sick again and laid his head flat on the table. He couldn’t stand the icky feeling in his chest anymore. Even while sleeping, Aiba looked very handsome. He tried all his might to look away, but his gaze would always yearn for him. Sho was naturally curious; he remembered during childhood how he admired Ohno for his adventurous and carefree personality. Sho wanted to be like him too; someone who wasn’t afraid to try anything.

Sho raised his head. Should he dare himself to try then? He wanted to be sure whether it was just a passing feeling, or something more than that. He needed to know.

Sho huddled near enough to the point that he could hear the other man breathe. Although he had seen this face of Aiba’s many times before, it was refreshing to see it up close. There were also little things which he had failed to notice before like Aiba’s pretty eyelashes and his gorgeous lips…

Sho gulped. His cheeks grew hot. Sho wished it was because of the burning heat of summer, but his palpitating heart was proving him wrong.

“I’m home!”

Sho jerked up and rushed to distance himself from the sleeping Aiba. Turning around, he spotted Hiro sitting on the staircase, untying his shoelace. Sho stood up and went to him.

“Welcome home, Hiro,” he said.

The boy lifted his head and looked at him. Hiro scrunched his eyebrows. “Dad, what happened to your face?” he asked. “It’s all red.”

Out of impulse, Sho touched his face. He went to face the mirror hanging on their wall. “It’s just a fever,” he told Hiro. “I’m alright.”

They heard a groan from the living room. Aiba sat up and let out a yawn. “Oh, Hiro’s here,” he said as soon as he came to his senses. Aiba combed his messy hair with his hand, causing Sho’s heart to skip a beat. Aiba went up to them and patted Hiro’s head.

“Hey, sorry if I slept on the sofa,” Aiba said to Sho. “I hope you didn’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Sho replied.

Aiba then turned to Hiro again, asking how his guitar lesson went today. They talked on and on about guitars. Suddenly, Sho could see the gap between him and the two. Thinking his presence in the conversation wasn’t needed, he went away. He saw the album on the table again and picked it up.

_‘You’re my friend after all.’_

Sho clenched his hands on the album, realizing his own selfishness. Aiba wasn’t visiting their house to see him; it was to spend time with Hiro and Yuji. He knew that very well. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking—wishing—he’d be the reason why.

***

Hiro pinched the wooden block with fingers and carefully proceeded to pull it. Aiba and Yuji stared at him, the older man tapping his fingers on his thigh while the boy sucked the tip of his thumb. The tower swayed and they let out a gasp, but Hiro kept pulling the block. When it came out, the tower collapsed at once, the wooden pieces falling from the table to the carpeted floor.

“Darn it!” Hiro said, slamming the block he pulled out on the table.

“Yay, Aiba-chan won!” Yuji said, raising his arms.

“Hey, weren’t you supposed to be rooting for me?”

Aiba laughed while gathering the fallen blocks. “Well, better luck next time,” he told Hiro.

Sho came into the living room, bringing a basket of newly-dried clothes. “What are you boys doing?” he said.

“We played Jenga,” Aiba told him.

“Loser! Loser!” Yuji chanted. “Hiro is a loser!”

“Yuji!” Aiba shushed him. “That’s not very nice. You’re hurting Hiro’s feelings.”

“Okay… But I’m happy that Aiba-chan won!” Yuji went to him and embraced him.

Hiro rolled his eyes and grumbled. “So annoying,” he said, slouching against the table.

Sho approached them and sat on the floor, settling the basket of clothes behind him. “Hey, Yuji, who do you love more?” Sho asked. “Hiro or Aiba-chan?”

“Aiba-chan!”

“Did you have to ask the obvious?” Hiro said.

“Well, how about me?” Sho told Yuji. “Who do you love more, daddy or Aiba-chan?”

The boy pondered, looking back and forth between Aiba and Sho. “I love you both!” He said.

“Wow,” Hiro exclaimed. “I don’t even know why I’m part of this family.”

“Yuji, you really love me that much?” Aiba said.

“Yes, because you make us happy,” he said, fluttering his eyelashes.

“Is that so? Well, I love you too, even Hiro,” Aiba said and flashed Hiro a grin. Hiro glared and turned a blind eye to his affection.

“Whatever,” he said, and Aiba laughed.

“What about daddy?”

Aiba blinked, his laugh dying out, and turned to the toddler in his arms. “Eh?”

“Doesn’t Aiba-chan love daddy too?” Yuji said.

Aiba felt like his spirit had gone out of him. Looking around, he found all eyes on him. Hiro looked at him with wide eyes while clenching his fists. And the subject in question, Sho, who was next to him, had the same wide eyes. Sho’s face was completely red, which amused Aiba.

“Do you?” Yuji said.

“Um, Yuji…” Sho spoke up.

“Of course, Yuji!” Aiba said, cutting him off. His heart had leapt out of his chest. Hiro’s jaw dropped before crumpling his face in disgust.

“Yes, of course, I do… love…” Aiba turned to Sho, who still had a flushed face. His throat had gone dry. It was hard for him to look directly at Sho, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

There came a knock on the door. “I- I’ll get it,” Sho stood up and rushed out of the living room.

Aiba bowed his head. His cheeks were burning. He had done it again, saying odd things to Sho. He knew he shouldn’t be ashamed; he was simply answering Yuji’s question, and yet it had affected him greatly. Sho was his friend, so of course, he loved him. There wasn’t any deeper meaning. There shouldn’t be at all.

They heard footsteps coming their way, but it wasn’t Sho’s. They were slow and steady steps. _Click, click, click…_

High heels.

“Mommy!” Yuji cried, letting go of Aiba and running towards the woman near the entryway.

“Hello, my darling,” she said, caressing Yuji’s hair, which was similar to hers. Her dark brown locks, though tied into a ponytail, surpassed her shoulders. She was dressed in all white; her blouse, her skirt, her shoulder bag, and her shoes. Her lips were bright red, which stood out on her ghastly fair skin. Aiba gazed at her from head to toe. Her mere presence intimidated him. The woman lifted her gaze and spotted Aiba in the room. Aiba flinched when he realized.

“Oh, hello,” she greeted Aiba, her lips curving into a smile. “I didn’t know we had a guest. You should’ve told me,” she said to Sho, who stood right beside her.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Sho said. “This is Aiba Masaki, he’s a friend of mine from high school.”

“Ah, a man from the past, I see,” she chuckled. “Bet you guys had a lot of fun without me.”

“Oh, don’t say that!” Aiba said, chuckling to conceal his nervousness. “The boys missed you very much. It’s much better now that you’re here with them.”

“Of course, that is very true. Allow me to introduce myself,” she went up to him, offering her hand. “My name is Naomi, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said, stressing the word _‘pleasure.’_ “It’s a pleasure for me too,” he said, holding her hand. She narrowed her eyes at him and he could feel her hand squeezing his, her long nails piercing his skin. Aiba let go and tried not to show any discomfort from the particular gesture.

“Hiro,” she said. “Aren’t you going to greet me?”

Hiro had remained sitting on the floor the whole time, lost in his own mind, or maybe he was as shocked as Aiba was. Either way, the sound of his mother’s voice calling him had woken him up. “M-Mom,” he said, getting back on his feet. “Welcome home.”

She went to him and pinched him on the cheek. “My little angel,” she said. “It’s good to see you…” Hiro smiled, although not as widely as Yuji. “I want some tea,” she said, turning to Sho.

Sho gave a nod and went to the kitchen without a word. Aiba’s gaze followed Sho’s back.

“Are you single, Aiba-san?”

Aiba turned around and found Naomi looking straight at him. “Oh, I’m a single father of three,” he said. “My wife passed away a year ago.”

“Ah, condolences,” she said. “But, how lovely, you have three children. For a moment, I thought you were a bachelor. You look very young to be a father.”

Aiba chuckled. “I get that a lot.”

“What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a musician.”

“I see. You’re the same as Sho.” She nodded. “I think Sho has already told you about his unemployment, has he?”

“Yes.”

“I’m really sorry. You see, I work in the fashion industry; it’s always busy there. So, I don’t get to spend a lot of time with Hiro and Yuji. That’s why Sho is taking care of them instead.”

“I understand,” Aiba said. “Sho doesn’t play piano at home, does he?”

“Oh, he doesn’t,” she said. “He used to play the piano every night, but I couldn’t focus on my work whenever he did. It distracts me. So I told him that, and then he stopped playing all together. I felt bad since he had quit his job. I must’ve been hard on him. Do you think so?”

“Uh, not at all, Sho is just being very considerate of you. He is always like that to everyone.”

“Is that so?” she chuckled. “Well, it’s no wonder Sho has a lot of friends.”

Aiba managed to smile. “Of course, he does.”

“Sho is really lucky to have people like you. I’m actually quite envious, you know what I mean?” she said. “Imagine if he didn’t, I wonder what he would do, where he would end up; he would probably get into trouble… Then again, he has me. If he had no one to rely on, he would stick to me. After all, I’m his wife.”

A chill went through his spine. Her voice was sweet with flowery phrases. Anyone would fall for them, but Aiba knew better. If it weren’t for Hiro, he wouldn’t have seen through her, or even read between her lines.

Sho came in between them, holding a tray of tea cups. He offered one cup to Naomi, who took it with both hands. He then went to Aiba and held up the tray, waiting for him to take a cup.

“No, I’m alright,” he told him. It was unnatural to see Sho acting like this. He was more of a servant, rather than a husband and a father. “Actually, I need to go.”

“You’re leaving?” Naomi exclaimed. “But, we just started getting to know each other.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to,” he said. “It’s getting late; my kids are probably waiting for me back home.”

“Such a shame,” she remarked. “But, I guess, you’ll come back here next time, right?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Well, next time, you let me know,” she said. Aiba figured she was referring to Sho and not him. “It was nice meeting you then, Aiba-san.”

“You too.” Aiba then turned to Sho. “I’ll be going now,” he told him.

Sho gazed down at his feet. “Alright,” he said.

Aiba walked to the doorway and Sho opened the door for him. “Were you always like this?” Aiba asked.

Sho averted his eyes. “Just go,” he mumbled.

Aiba stared at him, trying to read the expression on his face. Was there something else that Sho was hiding? “I’ll go then,” he said and stepped out of the house. He turned around in order to say goodbye but the door was already shut.

With no other choice, Aiba walked away. He knew something was wrong, but he couldn’t exactly point it out. Both Naomi and Sho didn’t want to be open about their divorce. One tried to act and convince people to think otherwise, the other just avoided the subject completely. But there were still things that didn’t add up, especially Naomi’s influence on Hiro a few weeks back.

Aiba turned around and gazed at their house from afar. There was a feeling in his gut telling him to go back, but he ignored it. He looked at the house one more time before moving forward on his way home.

***

Aiba knocked on the door. His fingers clenched around the box he was carrying. It was the third time he had brought dumplings, except, this time, he was the one who made them. He had his mother and Reiko taste them but, although they both said it was good, Aiba wanted to know what Sho would think.

Aiba thought of it also as a peace offering for yesterday, just in case he had hurt Sho’s feelings again. Or to make up for the ‘love’ shenanigans caused by Yuji, which bought him to say weird stuff. Other than that, he also was anxious and just wanted to cheer Sho up. Whichever the reason, he came to visit Sho.

The door swung open and, as always, he found Sho standing in front of him.

“Sho-chan,” Aiba greeted.

“Aiba,” Sho said. Aiba stared at him and at his clothing. Sho was, oddly, wearing a sweater made out of wool.

“That looks really warm,” Aiba remarked.

Sho’s gaze wavered. “Oh,” he chuckled. “I’ve been feeling a bit cold lately, that’s why. I see you brought dumplings.”

“Yeah, I made them.” Aiba could feel himself blush when he said it.

“Thank you.” Sho took the box. He drummed his fingers on the surface. “Um, Aiba…” He said, twisting his lips.

“Yes?”

Sho shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “Come in.”

As Aiba entered the house, Sho went ahead to put the dumplings in the kitchen. Aiba closed the door behind him and went to the living room, where he found little Yuji at the table, in the middle of drawing on his sketchbook.

“Hey, Yuji, how are you, sport?” Aiba said, sitting down beside him.

The boy didn’t react to his greeting and continued to draw on the paper with a colored pencil. Aiba watched him, taking note of his gloomy face.

“You seem so quiet today. What are you drawing?” he asked. “May I see?” He brought forth his hand to hold the sketchbook but Yuji took it away from his grasp. The boy looked terrified, his lips trembling.

“Yuji?” Aiba withdrew his hand, placing it on his lap. “Yuji, it’s alright,” he said. “It’s okay if you don’t want to; I understand.”

The boy relaxed, bringing the sketchbook back on the table. Aiba was concerned about him; to see him react that way towards him, it made his heart ache. It was only yesterday that Yuji was all over him, Aiba wondered why he had drastically changed.

“Aiba-chan, can you keep a secret?” Yuji said.

“Yes, I can.”

Yuji sucked his thumb for a moment. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Okay.” Yuji gave him the sketchbook. Aiba flipped through the pages of the previous drawings until he found the one Yuji was drawing on earlier.

There were two stick people, a man and a woman. They appeared to be in the living room because the same sofa and table was drawn in, recognizable because of their color. The stickman was kneeling and had its arms covering its head, while the stickwoman stood beside him. The stickwoman was holding something in one hand, but Aiba couldn’t tell what it was. There were also colorful scattered dots on the bottom of the drawing.

“Yuji, what is this?” He asked.

“I saw mommy hurt daddy,” Yuji whispered to him.

Aiba flicked his eyes towards him. “When?”

“Last night; I woke up because I heard noise. I went out and then I saw mommy throwing things at daddy, but they didn’t see me.”

Aiba sighed. “What’s mommy holding here?” He pointed at the simple grey line attached to the stickwoman.

“A knife.”

Aiba’s heart sunk. “Oh, Yuji…” he said. “Did you—what did your mommy do with the knife?”

“I don’t know. I went back to my room because I got scared of mommy.”

Aiba closed the sketchbook, putting it aside. He buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t imagine the kind of trauma that had settled into Yuji. Moreover, a knife? Aiba could still remember the image of Naomi’s face in his mind. Was that woman despicable enough to do such a thing? Goosebumps started to creep in. He tried to put himself in Yuji’s shoes; as he quietly went down the staircase, he could hear plates shattering and loud arguing. He could see the sharp blade shining against the light, held by such slender hands, pointing it directly at the pleading man…

“Mommy also threw Aiba-chan’s picture.”

Aiba lifted his head and looked at him. “Picture?”

“My drawing,” Yuji’s voice cracked, trying his best not to cry. “Daddy put it on the fridge, but mommy threw it away. I’m sorry…”

Aiba quickly hugged the boy. He knew it wouldn’t be enough for him to comfort Yuji, but it was the only thing he could do. “It’s alright, Yuji; it’s alright,” he repeated over and over.

“Is mommy a bad person?”

“No!” Aiba cried. He put his hands on Yuji’s shoulders. “No, your mommy’s not a bad person…” It hurt him to lie to the boy, but he didn’t want him to despise her at such a young age. He didn’t want Yuji to feel horrible for having a bad parent; both Yuji and Hiro shouldn’t even be involved in a mess caused by two adults.

Sho came back with a tea tray in hand. He sat down and offered Aiba his cup. “Here,” he said, but Aiba simply stared at him. “What’s with that face?” Sho chuckled. “I didn’t put anything in your drink, alright?”

“There’s something I’d like to talk about,” Aiba said. “Just between us two.”

Sho nodded, putting the tea cup back on the tray. They convinced Yuji to go up to his room, and as soon as they heard his door close, Sho spoke up. “So, what is it you want to talk about?”

Aiba couldn’t stand seeing the smile on Sho’s face. Was it a genuine one? Or was it just a mask? He wanted Sho to be honest with him. He had been trying to rekindle their relationship for the past weeks, and yet, there was still a wall between them. Whether it was about his separation from the band or his estranged relationship with Naomi, there was always that wall, and Aiba had only peeked through the cracks to get a glimpse of him, but never seeing the whole picture.

“Come on, spit it out,” Sho said. He was fidgeting, having grown impatient by Aiba’s speechlessness. “I won’t know what it is you want, unless you tell me.”

“I think you know perfectly well but you won’t admit it.”

Sho flushed, with clenched fists resting on his lap. Aiba placed his hand over one of them, twisting it to open and hold it with his other hand. “You don’t need to hide it from me,” Aiba said. “I already know.”

“W- What?”

Aiba immediately held onto the sleeve of Sho’s sweater and pulled it up until the cloth gathered near the man’s elbow. Just as he thought, there were red scratches and bruises on his arm, probably from glass and other things that were thrown at him. The other arm probably looked the same as well, so Aiba didn’t bother checking it. After all, seeing it once was enough. Sho gasped and forcefully pulled his arm away from Aiba. The older man distanced himself, looking at Aiba with spooked eyes. “Where did you get those scars?” Aiba asked.

“I tripped while cleaning our backyard, that’s all,” Sho said, pulling down his sleeve to cover his arm again.

“Don’t lie to me. She did this, right? Your wife?”

“That’s none of your business,” he argued. “Seriously, that’s what you wanted to talk about?”

“I was aware that you two were going through a divorce. I knew through your sons; they’ve told me things about you and her, unpleasant things.”

Sho turned his back to him, wrapping his legs in his arms and resting his head on his knees. Aiba heard a sigh, and he crawled near him. He placed his hand over his shoulder and Sho started sobbing. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this,” Sho said.

“Is it always like that whenever you and Naomi fight?” Aiba asked, but Sho kept his head down and his mouth shut. “You could have told me. I come here to your house every day, why didn’t you…?”

“I don’t know,” he said, his soaked eyes peeking out. “I probably thought that you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Are you stupid?” he cried. “Of course, I’d believe you. I could’ve helped you and none of this would’ve happened.”

Sho sniffed his nose and wiped the tears off his face. “I didn’t want you or anyone to worry about me. I’m sorry…”

Aiba brought his hand on Sho’s head and caressed it. Sho had his eyes on him. “Could I hug you?”

Aiba briefly smiled, he hadn’t heard that question for a long time. He didn’t need to tell him his answer. He went forward and embraced him first. He could feel Sho’s fingers running on his back and wringing the cloth of his shirt. “You need to leave,” Sho said as he pulled himself away.

“What?”

“Please, before she comes back; and you can’t come here anymore either.”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“Please, do it for my sake. That way, no one gets hurt.” Indeed, no one would, not physically at least. But Aiba couldn’t bear leaving him again; not knowing what would happen if his gaze left Sho for even a minute.

“Go home, Aiba,” Sho said.

Aiba sighed. “If you say so. Then, I will.”

Aiba tossed and turned on his bed. When his eyes caught sight of the alarm clock on his desk, it was already midnight. He couldn’t bring himself to sleep; his thoughts had invaded his mind and had made him restless. He recalled the days he had visited Sho’s house, especially the day when he first met Naomi. He replayed the words Naomi told him before in his head, over and over. He had sensed that something was wrong with her, but it never crossed his mind that Sho was actually a victim of domestic violence.

His phone lit up and vibrated. He groaned and reached for it, directing the screen to his face. When he saw who it was, Aiba sat up and looked at it with wide eyes. It was Sho.

“Sho-chan?” He said as he answered the phone.

“Aiba,” Sho’s voice came out.

“Did something happen? Are you okay?” Aiba rambled.

“No, I’m fine,” he said. “They’re asleep.”

“Did you get hurt again?”

“I said I was fine, Aiba.”

“I don’t think you are.”

Sho chuckled. “You’re really stubborn, you know that?”

“I know.”

The silence fell between them.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” Aiba then asked.

“No… I just want to hear your voice, that’s all.”

“That’s pretty romantic, coming from you,” he said with a smile.

“You started it.”

Aiba laughed. Sho was aware of it too. It was funny for them to be like this, but for some reason, it didn’t feel weird anymore.

“So, I can no longer go to your house, huh?”

“No,” he said. “But, we could meet each other like this, on the phone.”

“You’re so rebellious.”

“I know; I am.”

Aiba grinned. “I’m glad you are.”

***

Since then, Aiba and Sho called each other every night. They would talk about food, their kids, and on other occasions, the band. It was just the two of them in their own little world where they could forget about their troubles. It was nice to hear Sho’s voice; to hear him laugh, bicker, and cry, all those little sounds became precious to him. Aiba got to spend his afternoons with his children again, yet he couldn’t help but feel that something was missing, like a huge part of his life had been taken away. The same feeling he had when he lost Yukie. Aiba could still picture Sho in his mind. He could remember his facial expressions, his quirks, and his warmth—especially his warmth, whenever he touched his hand or embraced him. It lingered on his skin like he was sunburnt.

One night, Sho called him, asking him if he was free the day after. “You can come to the house,” Sho said when he asked why.

“Are you sure I can go? Won’t your wife…”

“She won’t be here.”

Aiba blinked. “Eh?” Sho then explained to him that Naomi would be visiting her relatives. Aiba then agreed to go, grabbing the opportunity to see his friend again.

The next day, Aiba was eating a heavy lunch again, having consumed three bowls of rice. Reiko looked at him curiously across the table. “That’s some appetite you have today,” she said.

“Hm?” Aiba swallowed his chewed food. “What?”

“Nevermind.”

“Oh, by the way, I’m going out later. Keep an eye on the twins, alright?”

“Hah?” she exclaimed. “Right now? Where are you going?”

“Uh,” Aiba averted his eyes. “I’m going to go and visit Shimura-san,” he said.

Reiko sighed. “And I was even planning to get some beauty rest,” she grumbled.

“You can do that tomorrow,” he said, and she glared at him. “Come on, I know I can count on you. And I won’t be gone for too long, hopefully.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She nodded. “Take care, alright?”

Aiba then smiled. “I will,” he said with a nod.

The moment he arrived in front of Sho’s house, something welled up in him, causing his eyes to water. It felt like home—no, it was his second home. It was a beautiful sight; he had missed seeing the yellow-green grass and the tall, bushy trees surrounding the backyard. He saw the house’s white walls and its grey roof tiles, and his heart skipped a beat with every step forward. He brought forth his hand and knocked on the door. Aiba let out a breath, and the door, at long last, finally swung open.

“Hey,” Sho said.

“Hey.” Aiba looked down at Sho’s arms. Fortunately, he was wearing a white shirt and the scratches and bruises were gone. His heart calmed down a bit. “Are you alright?” he asked out of habit.

“Yeah, don’t worry. She didn’t hurt me anymore, for now.”

They looked at each other, face to face, with neither of them daring to look away. “Aren’t you going to come in?” Sho said.

“I am,” Aiba said. “Where are the kids?” he asked as soon as he went inside.

Sho closed the door. “They’re with her,” he said. “Well, she dragged them along.”

“So they’ve gone off to her relatives without you?”

“She hasn’t been spending time with the boys lately; she’s making up that lost time.” They walked to the living room and Sho went to sit casually on the sofa, with his feet on the table. Aiba remained standing and watched the older man sulk. The ticking sound of the clock was the only thing filling up the silence.

“So, it’s just you for today?” Aiba asked.

“Just me,” he said. “They’ll come back tomorrow night.”

Aiba nodded. Sho scratched his face and neck and fidgeted with one of his legs. He also kept sighing what seemed like every ten seconds.

“You’re lonely,” Aiba said.

“Well, I do miss them already but, it’s just two days so…” his voice drifted off. “I listened to the album already,” he then said.

“You did?” Aiba perked up. “How was it?”

“Oh, I loved it. It’s really beautiful…” Sho cried, with eyes full of wonder. “Your solo, ‘Letter to the Night Sky,’ it was for your wife, right?”

“Yeah, it was,” Aiba said with a smile.

“I’m sure she would’ve loved it.”

Aiba had long waited to hear those words. “I’m sure of that too.”

“Listening to the album made me want to write some songs again.”

“Well, that’s good! You could be a lyricist for us, if you want.”

Sho chuckled. “You really want me back in the band, huh?”

“At least I tried,” he said, and then they laughed.

Once again, they had no words. They only exchanged deep and thoughtful gazes; there was a glint in Sho’s brown eyes and Aiba found it quite charming. Sometimes he would find his eyes landing on his delicate pink lips which curved into a captivating smile. For the first time in his life, he found Sho to be actually pretty.

Aiba parted his lips and the words spilled out from it. “Wanna go out with me?” It took him a whole minute to process it in his mind and realize what he had done, and when he did, his cheeks warmed up.

The older man’s face was beaming red. “Out?”

“Y-Yeah, you know, go out of the house; take a walk, look around, and get a bit of sunshine?” Aiba spit out the words that popped up in his head.

“That would be nice,” Sho said, averting his eyes.

“So, you’re up for it?”

Sho gazed at him again and gave him a slow nod.

Aiba waited for Sho, who was changing into a more appealing outfit, at the door. They didn’t have any concrete plan on where to go and how long it would take; Aiba figured that it didn’t matter. He decided that he and Sho would make the best out of it, wherever. Sho came out wearing a buttoned shirt and dress pants. They went through the gate and strolled down the path which led to a park. It was the most practical place for them to go to. Looking around, there were families, couples, and groups of teenagers on the grass fields. Some were playing or running around; some were just lying on their picnic mats. There was also a group of old ladies doing aerobics from a distance.

The two spotted an unoccupied bench, which they sat on to take a break. Their surroundings were so lively and carefree. Aiba felt that they were out of place; neither him nor Sho were in their best mood, especially under the blinding sun. Even while sitting, there was still a wall between them. Aiba wanted to break it, little by little.

“It feels weird that you still call me by my last name,” Aiba said.

“Eh?” Sho said. “But we always call you Aiba. Everyone does.”

“It feels too formal, coming from you. Besides, I call you Sho-chan.”

“You’re the one who’s weird,” he remarked. “I’m the older one here.”

“Yeah, but once it’s Christmas Eve, we’ll be the same age.”

“Whatever. December’s still four months away.”

“Well, it kinda rings a bell when I say it, you know, ‘Sho-chan.’ I just love how it sounds.” Aiba grinned, but the other wasn’t at all pleased.

Sho turned his face away, settling his gaze elsewhere. Aiba scooted over, closing the gap between them, and brought his head near Sho’s ear. “Sho-chan,” he uttered. “Sho-chaaan…”

“Stop, it’s annoying,” Sho groaned, and pushed him. His cheeks were blushing again.

Aiba laughed at the sight. Sho’s troubled face was still as cute as ever. “Anyway, it would be nice if you’d call me my first name too.”

Sho stood up from his seat. “What are you? A girl?” he said and fled.

“Hey, come on, don’t be shy!” Aiba rushed to catch up to him. “We’ve known each other for years! And it’s not like my name’s hard to pronounce.”

They walked side by side. Sho was still trying to avoid his gaze. Nevertheless, Aiba kept on nudging him, trying to convince him to say his name. Finally, Sho opened his mouth, but there was barely any sound coming out.

Aiba put his hand next to his ear. “Ha? I can’t hear you.”

“Masaki!” Sho exclaimed, flicking his head towards him. “There, I said it, happy?”

“Very.”

“God, what’s with you today?” Sho muttered, averting his eyes once again. Aiba circled around him, wanting to see what sort of expression Sho wore, until it led to a playful chase.

After their walk, they found themselves inside a mall. The two were immediately drawn by a music store. They scanned the various instruments displayed around them; there were some electric keyboards and, seeing that one of them was on, Aiba rushed to the piano and slammed his hands on the keys, creating a dissonance of sounds which echoed around the area. Sho slapped him on the back.

“You’re embarrassing!” Sho whispered. “People are staring! Also, won’t people recognize you?”

“Recognize me?” Aiba chuckled. “That rarely happens, Sho-chan. Ooh!” he exclaimed, spotting the guitar section, “that looks lovely.”

Aiba gazed at the guitars lined-up on the wall. Each having its own color, its own design; it was tempting. Sho tailed him, looking around as well, probably to buy another guitar for Hiro in the future. “Aiba Masaki-san?” They heard a woman’s voice. The two of them turned around and found two girls squealing.

“Oh my, it’s really him!” the shorter girl said, shaking the taller woman’s arm. Aiba and Sho gaped at them with amusement.

“We’re big fans of UB.” The taller woman approached Aiba. “Could we take a picture with you?”

“Sure,” Aiba said.

The woman then turned to Sho. “Excuse me; would it be alright if you took our picture for us?” she said.

“Uh, okay.” Sho said, taking her phone.

“Thank you!” she said. “Just press the button on the right.”

Aiba stood between the two ladies, placing his arms over their shoulders, and the three of them smiled for the camera. Aiba watched Sho take their pictures; he could tell how annoyed Sho was. “Not famous, huh?” Sho said, once the two ladies were gone.

“It’s just a coincidence,” Aiba said. “Then again, if they post that picture on social media, I’d definitely get spotted.”

“Well, that’s just great.” Sho rolled his eyes. “Should we leave then?”

“But we just got here!”

“I don’t care! I don’t want to be a photographer.”

Aiba pondered for a while, caressing his chin. Then, he snapped his fingers. “I’ve got an idea.”

“Enjoy your meal,” the waitress said and closed the door.

The karaoke room was quite small in width, to the point that their knees touched when they sat on the couch. Aiba bent forward on the table, dipping a potato fry with ketchup, and ate it. “This is so awkward,” Sho said.

Aiba flicked his gaze towards him. “What is?”

“This.” Sho waved his hand around, referring to the situation itself.

“It’s better than going here alone,” Aiba said. “At least here we could have dinner and have some privacy.” He then grabbed the bucket of chicken wings and began eating.

“For how long can we stay here?”

“Two hours.” Aiba offered the bucket to Sho.

“No, no.” Sho shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”

“Suit yourself.” Aiba went on eating. He glanced at Sho from time to time; the man was aimlessly staring at the patterned walls. Soon, Sho was starting to sigh again. “Should we start singing?” Aiba said while licking his fingers.

Sho raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“Since we’re here, you know. It would be a waste if we don’t sing.” Aiba took the songbook from the table and opened it.

“Aiba, I haven’t sung in years; I don’t even exercise my vocal chords.”

“Who cares? I always get my voice wasted at karaoke. Besides, it’s just the two of us. And I can’t hit high notes like Nino or Ohno do, so we’re even.” Aiba went towards the TV and pressed the code number written on the songbook.

“Seriously? ‘Pikanchi’?” Sho said looking at the song title displayed on the screen. Aiba pressed enter and the song started to play through the speakers.

“Yeah, why not? Let’s sing to our heart’s content!” Aiba handed Sho his microphone, but Sho shook his head. “Why not?” Aiba whined. “Ugh, fine!” he said, turning back to the screen.

As soon as the lyrics popped out, Aiba began singing. It was a hard rock song so Aiba exaggerated his voice into a rugged and low one. He glanced at the man on the couch. Sho was watching him at the corner with a frown that seemed forced.

When the song got to the pre-chorus, he could see Sho shyly rocking his head to the beat. “Come on, sing along with me!” Aiba shouted through the mic like he usually did during concerts. He gestured to Sho to stand up at the chorus, but Sho refused. Aiba then went to him and pulled him by the arm, forcing Sho to get off the couch. “You can do it, Sho-chan!”

Sho glared at him for a while. Aiba continued singing while making funny faces, causing Sho to crack up the smile he had tried his best to hold in. When the chorus came up again, Aiba wrapped his arm around Sho and the two of them swayed their heads.

“Not bad, right?” Aiba said after they finished the song.

“I guess,” Sho said.

“So, are you going to sing or not?”

Sho tilted his head and hummed. “It depends…”

Aiba went to get the songbook and gave it to Sho. “Here,” he said. Sho bit his lip and held the book in his hands, looking through it.

“I found one,” Sho said with a shine in his eyes.

“That’s the spirit.”

Sho picked ‘A Day in Our Life.’ As soon as the song started, Aiba began to howl. “Yeah! Sakurai Sho in da house!” he cheered.

“Hey, you need to sing as my backup!” Sho said.

“Yeah, yeah, I know that! Just do your thing!” And he did. Sho still had his rapping skill intact. It had been a while since he had seen Sho this happy to perform, and when he sang along with him, it was a treat. He had nearly forgotten how well their voices worked together. They were dancing once again and all Aiba could see was Sho’s face—his eyes and his smile, against the bright light from the TV screen.

Eventually, they sang their other favorites like ‘Happiness’ and ‘Beautiful Days.’ They also sang ‘Blue-Sky Pedal’ again, and before they knew it, their time ran short. “What should be our last song?” Sho asked while Aiba flipped through the songbook.

“How much time do we have?”

“Uh, less than four minutes?”

“Four minutes…” Aiba dragged his finger over the list. “Should we end it with ‘Labyrinth Love Song’?” he asked.

“I guess that’s fine.”

Aiba then went to type in the number and pressed play, and the song immediately started. As he returned to his seat, listening to the ticking of a clock through the speakers, a feeling started to sink into him and probably the man sitting beside him too: why did it have to be this song?

Nevertheless, the two of them began singing with gentle and smooth voices. When the chorus came in, they stood up from their seats once again, messing around, doing silly dances and exaggerated movements.

Aiba tried not to fumble his words. Each line seemed to have come from his heart rather than just lyrics. It was genuine. It was their story in a song, Aiba realized. Was it pure coincidence for them to pick this as their last song? Aiba wasn’t sure. Nevertheless, he was glad to be here at this very moment with his dear friend.

“ _It feels as if I’ve known you even before I was born…_ ” Aiba sang as they neared the end of the song. They were looking at each other, eye to eye. A huge smile blossomed on Sho’s face.

“ _Always with you!_ ”

“ _Even if_ \--” The buzzer suddenly went off and, startled by the noise, Sho screamed and lost his balance, tipping off. Aiba rushed to pull Sho in and wrapped his arms around him to prevent the fall.

Time had stood still when Sho lifted his head and looked at him. Their faces were nearly an inch away. To have Sho this close to him, in his arms, it all seemed right. He could clearly see Sho blushing and he knew, from his warm cheeks, that he was blushing as well.

The song ended and they stepped away from each other. “Thank you,” Sho said, averting his eyes.

“You’re welcome,” Aiba said, and they exited the karaoke booth.

It was as if they had travelled through time. The bright and blue summer sky had turned to a glistening black. They walked on the same path from earlier at the park. There were barely any people, save for some couples sitting on the benches.

Aiba wondered if it was too much. Indeed, he wanted to break down the wall between them, but with how things had ended up earlier, he wasn’t so sure anymore. He grew afraid of a certain part of him, a part of him he never thought he had.

“It’s been a while since I’d sung like that,” Sho said, breaking the silence.

Aiba chuckled. “You were great earlier,” he said.

“Really?”

“Really,” he said with a nod.

A smile grew on Sho’s face. “You too.”

Aiba looked down to his feet, trying to make his proud expression look humble.

“Two hours is really short,” Sho said.

“Did you want to sing some more?”

“Maybe, but…” Sho paused and then his voice went soft. “I think I wanted more time for a different reason.”

Aiba felt his heart skip a beat. “And what would that be?”

Sho sighed. “I don’t know,” he said. “I can’t figure it out either…”

They found the gate in front of their very eyes, marking the end of their time together. Aiba accompanied Sho to the doorstep.

Sho opened the door and, looking at the interior, the house looked emptier than it was before. The kids were with Naomi; there was no one inside waiting for them to come back. There was no one to greet and no one to welcome him back home. It was a harsh and cold reality that Sho would be all alone tonight. And Aiba knew that feeling, whenever he had to be away from his family when UB held concerts in other prefectures; no matter how luxurious the room he stayed in was, he was never at ease.

Sho stepped inside and switched the lights on. The man turned around and faced him. “I had a lot of fun today,” Sho said. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, glad to have kept you company.”

Sho then smiled. They gazed at each other once again. Neither of them stepped away nor said a word. Aiba felt his chest aching; he couldn’t bring himself to leave Sho like this. He had done all he could and yet he felt there was something lacking.

“You’re a good man, Masaki,” Sho said. “I wish I had…”

“Had what?”

Sho shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “Goodbye and take care.”

The door closed and Aiba stood still. He was at a loss. He tried to recall everything that happened today, what did he miss?

_‘I wish I had…’_

Aiba turned away, clicking his tongue, and went down the doorstep. Nearing the gate, he stopped on his tracks. It still bothered him. What was it that Sho wanted to say? He couldn’t understand why he was fussing about it and why it would matter to him in the first place. Why should it?

_‘What are you doing here?’_

He came here today to be with Sho, to spend time with his friend, to see his beautiful smile… No matter the reason, whether it was because his mother cooked extra dumplings or because he wanted to impress Hiro and Yuji, he only went inside that house for one person.

It then hit him, at the center of his heart. It was still there, the desire, which ran through him. Sure, he was scared but he didn’t want to lose any more chances. Aiba found his feet taking him back to the doorstep. He was in front of the door again. His heart throbbed when he knocked on it again.

The door swung open, revealing a surprised Sho. Aiba didn’t bother to think, there was no time for that. He just forced himself in, his hands taking hold of Sho’s face.

It had been long since Aiba kissed someone like this. The whole situation was different from what he was used to, especially with Sho being a man, but it had the same feeling. The warmth, the adrenaline, and everything else; it was an enlightenment.

“Masaki,” Sho said and breathed out. “Wait…” But Aiba pushed him down to the floor and cut him off with his lips. They were so soft and plump, he had the urge to gently bite them. Sho whined when he did. Aiba moved on to plant kisses from Sho’s chin down to his neck.

“Masaki, stop!” Sho pushed him, and he obeyed. Both of them were breathless. Sho briefly coughed. “The door…” he then said. “Close it, please…”

Aiba blinked and turned around to find the door was indeed left open. He moved his leg and used his foot to push the door close. Aiba got off of Sho, letting him sit up.

“I,” Sho uttered, touching his lips with his fingers. “I never expected that from you.”

“Well, I never expected that from me either,” Aiba said and chuckled.

Sho was still breathing heavily, wiping the sweat from his forehead. His face too was still beaming red.

“I only realized it now, what I truly feel towards you,” Aiba confessed. “I know it was too sudden, and I’m really sorry for that. Please, forgive me.”

Sho stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. Aiba didn’t know how to react, but he felt relieved. “God, what the heck?” Sho exclaimed.

“You seem happy,” Aiba said.

“I am. I wanted you to come back,” he said. “And here you are.”

Aiba let out a chuckle. It took him long enough, he realized. Looking into his eyes, Aiba went closer to him until their noses touched. Sho’s smiling lips parted, letting out a sigh, and they kissed again.

This time it was tender and uplifting, because they both knew now that their feelings were mutual. Aiba could hear his heart throbbing out loud. His hair, his voice, his smell—all the little things, even the slightest touches, seemed precious at that moment. Aiba didn’t want to waste even a second.

As they lay flat on the floor again, their crotches rubbed against each other. Both of them let out a moan. Aiba looked down to their lower bodies and found that he and Sho were rock hard.

“Should we do it?” Aiba said, looking back at Sho.

“Do you really have to ask?”

Aiba was in a daze, the ceiling seemed farther than when he first entered the room. He felt he was lying on the clouds, soft and light pillows soothing his head. Right after they stripped off their clothes and lay down on the bed, they just lost themselves. “For the first time, I’m so glad… that she and I have separate beds,” Sho said, breathing in between a few times.

“You should.” Aiba breathed. “I would’ve fucked you there and then earlier if I had to.”

Sho chuckled. “God, how on Earth did your wife put up with a dirty pervert like you?”

“Beats me.” Aiba briefly smiled and sighed. “God, I miss that woman…”

He had forgotten what it was like to have someone lying in bed next to him. It felt good to have someone to touch and to kiss, someone he could love wholeheartedly.

“I wish I had married someone like you,” Sho said.

Aiba flicked his gaze towards him. “Was that what you wanted to tell me earlier?”

“Yeah, it was,” he said. “Your wife was really lucky to have you. Unlike me, what do I have?”

“You have two beautiful boys,” he said.

“Not for long,” he said. “I don’t even know if they’ll let me have them. The court’s obviously going to pick her over me.”

“What?” Aiba sat up. “Why would they? She’s insane! You can’t let her take custody.”

“I don’t have proof; I don’t have a cellphone of my own, and I don’t have a job. They’re never going to give them to me.”

Aiba played with the stands of Sho’s hair. “I could give you all that, you know.”

Sho turned his back to him. “No, I don’t want to be in debt to you. I figured it out anyway; I bought some good stocks.” He remarked. “I just don’t know if it’ll be enough…”

Aiba took his phone out from his jeans, which were lying on the floor, and glanced at the screen. It was already midnight.

“Oh God,” Aiba groaned. He had lost track of time. For sure, Reiko was mad at him. His mother too would be mad as well. “I have to go,” he said.

“Already?” Sho twisted around and sat up.

“It’s late. I don’t want to keep my family waiting.”

“Alright,” Sho said. “Be careful on your way home.”

Aiba could see the fear beneath Sho’s doting eyes. In the end, he would be left alone in this huge house. Aiba wished he could be in two places at the same time. He pecked a kiss on his lips. “You too,” he said. “Be careful, I mean.”

“I get that.” Sho said. “Now, go.” He turned away. “Before I try to change your mind…”

Aiba went to whisper in his ear. “We could have another round before I leave.”

Sho shoved a pillow on his face. “Fuck off, will you?” He said, Aiba laughed.

***

Aiba cautiously slid their entrance door open. The house was dark and only the moonlight had lit his way around the house. Having memorized the interior, Aiba closed the door and went to the refrigerator. He opened it and he took out the first thing he saw: a plate of dumplings. He sat on the floor, leaving the refrigerator door open, and began eating.

His walk from Sakurai’s house had made him hungry, and considering he had used up his energy even before that, he needed a refresher. His hand went to reach for the bottle of cola and twisted it open. He drank straight from the bottle and let out a sigh.

As he was about to eat another dumpling, the lights were turned on. Aiba froze in his spot. He heard someone clearing their throat. Aiba peeked over the sink counter and found Reiko standing by the hallway with crossed arms.

Aiba quickly got up on his feet. “I can explain,” he said.

She sighed. “Yeah, of course you do.” She walked up to him. “Grandma was worried sick about you.”

“Oh God, is she alright?”

“Yeah, Grandpa convinced her to sleep since she kept insisting to wait for you.”

“I’m sorry, I was…”

“Staying at Sakurai-san’s house?”

“Yeah, I was staying at…” Aiba then paused. “Wait, how did you know that?”

“I figured it out,” she said. “Besides, I knew your password was mom’s birthday.”

“You looked through my phone?” Aiba exclaimed.

“Yup, I did, while you were in the shower this morning. I looked up your call history and it had _‘Sho-chan’_ all over it. And there’s only one person whom you call by that name.” Aiba’s jaw dropped. “I’m such a smart girl, aren’t I?” she teased.

Aiba brought his hand over his face. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have kept it a secret from you.”

“It’s alright,” she said cheekily. “Now, come on, tell me all about it, about you and Sakurai-san.”

Aiba blinked. “You’re not mad?”

“Hah?” She furrowed her eyebrows. “Why would I be mad?”

“I thought you would,” he said. “You were the one who sensed Sho was gay and all, and then you got angry at me that one time when you asked if I was dating someone. But, now, you’re okay with me and Sakurai-san?”

“Dad, I wasn’t angry because you were dating someone!” she cried out. “I just want you to open up to me about it. I want you to be happy, you know. Ever since mom passed away, it pains me to see you all alone. I’m going to college soon; Mamoru and Mitsuru will grow up and will eventually have to leave you too, that’s why...” she pressed her lips and sealed them. Her eyes turned moist and her nose was runny. She used the sleeve of her pajama to wipe her nose.

“That’s why I really wished that you’d find someone who could be with you,” she then said. “And I’m sure mom wished the same, right?”

Tears started to fall down from his eyes. A memory he had unconsciously buried in the back of his mind had returned to him again. He was in pain, but it relieved him. Aiba went towards Reiko and hugged her, snuggling his head on her shoulder.

“You really are my girl.” He said. “I’m really glad to have a daughter like you…” he heard her little laugh that never changed over the years. Whenever he held her in his arms back then, he would always hear it through her toothless smile.

“So, are you going to tell me what you and Sakurai-san did last night?”

It was during that moment that Aiba realized that his little girl really grew up fast.

“Mom, we already talked about this,” Aiba said, putting his hand over his head. He never thought that he would come to this situation during family dinner. Ever since he came home late earlier, his parents wouldn’t stop nagging him.

“I’m just saying that if you do have a girlfriend, maybe you should introduce her to us sometime!” his mother said.

“Um, Grandma, I think dad just wants to take it slow,” Reiko said.

“Slow?” Aiba’s father exclaimed. “Since when did he become slow? He’d always bring home women from time to time back when he was your age!”

“Dad, not in front of the children…” Aiba muttered.

“Does that mean we’ll have a new mom?” Mamoru asked.

“No,” Aiba said.

“But dad,” Mitsuru said. “You do have a girlfriend right?”

“For the last time, I do not have a girlfriend!”

“So it’s a fling then?” his father asked.

“No, it’s not!—wait, no, ugh…”

His father then chuckled. “I got you there, my boy.”

“So we are going to have a new mom!” Mitsuru cried.

Aiba placed his chopsticks on top of the unfinished bowl of rice, saying his thanks, and rose up from the chair. “I’m done,” he said.

“Oh, Masaki, it’s alright,” his mother said. “We don’t mind if you remarry, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” he said, sliding the door to the living room open.

Aiba went to the sofa, sitting with his arms crossed. His mother followed him and sat beside him. “Masaki, I’m sorry if we’re pressuring you,” she said. “But I don’t want you to hold back either. If you’ve found someone, I’m sure the children would be delighted.”

He sighed. “I don’t think you and dad would like it though.”

“Why not?”

“Mom, the truth is that I…”

There came a hurried knock on their front door. The sound was loud enough to reach the dining room. “Michiko!” Aiba’s father yelled out. “There’s someone at the door.”

His mother hummed. “Who could it be at this hour?” she was about to stand up, but Aiba stopped her.

“I’ll do it,” he said.

As Aiba went to the door, the person started knocking again. Aiba pushed the slide door a bit and took a peak to see who was outside. To his surprise, Aiba was met with a man with lovely brown eyes and ebony hair which covered one side of his forehead. “Sho-chan?” Aiba slid the door open fully. It was indeed Sakurai Sho who came to their house; however, it appeared that he wasn’t in good condition. There were not only blue bruises over his limbs, but also on his face. There was even a cut on his lips, still blood red.

“Oh my goodness!” Aiba’s mother gasped when she saw him.

Aiba held onto the side of his shoulders and looked at the man from head to toe. “Sho-chan?” The older man seemed to be in a daze, blankly staring at him with tears falling down to his cheeks. “Hey, speak to me,” Aiba said.

The other family members also went to see Sho. The twins screamed in horror. Aiba’s mother went to hug and comfort them. “What on Earth?” Aiba’s father exclaimed.

Reiko rushed to the two of them. “Should we call the police?” Reiko asked Aiba.

“No,” Sho uttered. “No, don’t call the police… I’m alright…”

“Alright?” Aiba said. “You’re barely that! What about Hiro and Yuji?”

“She won’t hurt them. I’m sure of that,” he said. “Trust me.”

They took Sho inside; let him settle down in Aiba’s room. Aiba’s mother nursed him, with Reiko helping out by wrapping bandages. Aiba stood nearby and watched Sho hiss in pain. When he saw the huge bruises on his back, Aiba turned away, facing the wall. He couldn’t bear the sight. “You should rest well, young man,” Aiba’s mother told him. “Much better if you sleep.”

“Thank you,” Sho said.

Aiba’s mother went out of the room. “Take care of your friend, alright?” she told him. Reiko then stood up, carrying the first aid kit. She looked back and forth at the two of them. “Um,” she said, turning to Sho. “Although it might not be the right time to say this, please take good care of my dad,” she then bowed to him.

Sho gaped at her unexpected gesture. She straightened her back and stepped out of the room. “Just come out and call us if you need anything,” she told Aiba and then closed the door.

“Did she just…” Sho said.

“She knows.”

Sho widened his eyes. “H-How much?”

“Everything.” Sho’s face then flushed. Aiba went to sit beside him. “Are you feeling better?” he asked, and Sho nodded. “What happened?”

“Well, I did everything I could, but she found out. She used the guitar to hit me,” Sho explained.

“You mean Hiro’s guitar?” Aiba said. “Does Hiro know?”

“She took it from him. He saw everything.”

“Oh God…” he uttered.

“Hiro was crying for me, but I couldn’t do anything. I just let it happen; I always thought that, better since it’s only me…” Sho’s voice then drifted off.

“But, how did she know? I mean, I didn’t leave any traces…”

“You did, on me,” Sho said, lifting up his shirt briefly, showing the trail of hickeys on his chest. Aiba’s heart sunk. “It’s not your fault, Masaki.”

“But,” his voice cracked. “I caused it…” His gaze fell down, ashamed that he wasn’t able to protect him.

Sho’s hands went to hold onto his closed fists and opened them. It was the same gesture Aiba did last time when Sho was injured.

Aiba managed a smile. “I missed you,” he told him. He held up Sho’s hands and kissed them, causing Sho to let out a chuckle. Aiba leaned forward and planted a kiss on both cheeks.

Aiba felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He groaned as he drew himself back. He took out the phone and looked at the screen. “Eh?”

“Who is it?” Sho asked.

“It’s Nino,” Aiba said. “But he wants me on video call.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Answer it.”

Aiba then answered the call. Immediately, Nino’s face appeared on the screen. “Aiba!”

“Nino, what’s up?” he asked.

“Guess who I’m with.” Nino then moved the camera to reveal the person sitting beside him.

“Yo, Aiba!” he greeted, smiling with his crooked teeth. His skin was still tanned as ever.

“Ohno?”

“Did you miss me?”

“Oh my God.”

“Hey, don’t forget about me!” someone shouted on the phone.

“Oh, yeah,” Nino said. “We have our mutual friend with us too.” He then moved the phone around again and showed a man with black wavy hair. He was also wearing glasses and a cap.

“Jun! Is that really you?” Aiba exclaimed. “Wow, you’ve really grown.”

Jun chuckled. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

“This is unfair! How could you guys hang out without me?” Aiba cried.

“It was Oh-chan’s idea,” Nino said. “He missed me too much.”

“What?” Ohno exclaimed. “What the heck are you talking about?” He then pushed Nino. “You’re the one who invited me to this restaurant!”

“Yeah, but you were the one who called me early in the morning. You were going, ‘Nino-chan, I love you’…”

“Excuse me? First of all, I was drunk. Second, a friend of mine was a fan of yours and she kept going on and on, saying those things and it just popped out of my head that time.”

“Guys, stop fighting,” Jun said.

“Shut up, MJ,” Ohno said.

Aiba then chuckled. “Hey, guys,” he said. “I also have a surprise for the three of you.” He then looked to Sho, who gave him a nod, and gave him the phone.

“Sho!” the three exclaimed as soon as they saw him.

“It’s been a while,” Sho said and waved his hand.

“Sho!” Ohno shouted. “Are you alright? What happened to you? Did that bitch beat you up again?”

“I’m alright, Ohno.” Sho smiled. “I feel better now, seeing you all.”

“Woah, what ‘bitch’?” Nino said. “Who are you talking about?”

“See these scratches on my arms?” Ohno said. “They were from her! Until now, they’re still visible! I swear if I see that bitch I’ll mutilate that plastic face of hers!”

“Yo, calm down!” Jun said. “Do you want us to get kicked out?”

Aiba and Sho laughed out loud. It had been a rough night for the both of them, but seeing their friends getting along again had lightened up their mood. “Next time, don’t forget to invite us, alright?” Aiba said, as they were about to end the call.

Nino chuckled. “Yeah, I won’t forget. Good night, you lovebirds!” he then winked.

Sho blinked. “What?” His face was blushing again. “Nino, you…” The call was cut off, Aiba’s phone returning to its home screen. Sho turned his head and glared at Aiba. “Did you tell him?”

“Uh…” Aiba averted his eyes. “I might’ve told him too much.”

Sho frowned and brought the phone on the back of Aiba’s head and tapped it.

“Ow!”

***

Sho woke up the next morning. He rose up and groaned in pain, forgetting that he was injured. Memories of the abuse he got from the day before were still fresh in his mind. He turned around and found Aiba looking at him. The younger man was dressed formally, wearing a three-quarter shirt and denim pants. “Good morning.” Aiba said.

“Are you going somewhere?” Sho asked.

“Yeah, I was just waiting for you. You’re coming with me, actually.”

“Where are we going?”

“I’m going to introduce you to someone,” Aiba said, and he helped Sho get up from his bed and get dressed.

They travelled by car; it was just a short drive away from Aiba’s house. They entered a building, with Aiba parking his car in the basement. As they rode the elevator, Aiba wore a serious expression. Sho stayed silent, thinking he might bother the younger man. The doors opened and Aiba walked out of the vehicle. Sho followed him through the hallway and they entered a room. Realizing where Aiba had brought him, Sho stopped on his tracks.

It was a cemetery.

The walls displayed jars alongside with the picture and name of the person through glass panels. He went to Aiba, who stood still, staring at one of them. As expected, it was Yukie’s. Aiba clapped his hands and went into prayer. Sho then followed suit.

As he prayed, it came across Sho’s mind that he didn’t get to know her. They only met once at Aiba’s wedding party and that was it. He never got the chance to meet her again, especially after he married Naomi. And yet, here he was before her. It was awkward, for he didn’t want to think of himself as a replacement.

 _‘The only reason you had the guts to screw that musician is because his wife’s dead.’_ Naomi’s voice rang in his head. Sho tried to push the thought away. But, he couldn’t help but think she was right. Things would’ve been more complicated if Yukie were alive, and Sho could tell that Aiba was loyal to her. _‘You must be glad that she’s dead; I could tell. You’re nasty.’_

Sho winced. Naomi’s shadow affected him greatly. “Are you alright?” Aiba asked.

“I’m fine,” he said. “It’s nothing.”

Aiba then nodded. “Before she died,” he said. “She told me it’s alright if I find and fall in love with someone else.” Sho looked at him. His eyes were welled up with tears. “I never thought I would, but I’m glad I have you.” He then wiped the tears with his fingers and let out a smile.

Sho gazed down at his feet. “I don’t think I’m worthy,” he muttered.

“Don’t say that.” Aiba said and went to hug him. Sho felt his blood rushing in his veins, his body growing warm by Aiba’s touch. “I love you, you know that,” Aiba whispered in his ear.

Sho placed his hands on Aiba’s back and nestled his head on his shoulder. “I love you too,” he said.

From Aiba’s shoulder, Sho gazed at Yukie’s picture. She was as beautiful as the day he met her; she had a wonderful smile. For a moment, it was as if she was smiling at him.

“So, have you decided what to do now?” Aiba said when they went back inside the car.

Sho sighed. “Well, I have to go see her either way, whether I like it or not.”

Aiba put his hand over Sho’s. “I’ll come with you,” he said. “You don’t need to face this alone. Besides, we’re here for you; me, Nino, Ohno, and Jun, we’ve got your back.”

Sho smiled and he interlocked their fingers. Aiba was right; Sho wasn’t alone, no matter how far apart they were. He never was.

They arrived at the house. Aiba parked his car right in front of the gate. Sho was the first one to go out of the vehicle, walking straight to their doorstep. Aiba rushed to follow him. Sho knocked on the door with all his might. After a moment, the door opened and he found Naomi looking at him.

“So, you’ve come back,” she said, smirking. “And you actually brought your boyfriend with you. Well, how sweet.”

“I want us to be civil for once,” Sho said. “For everyone’s sake, especially the children.”

She then raised her eyebrows.

“It’s either you leave this house or I’ll be taking my kids with me.”

She chuckled. “Wow, why’re you acting brave so suddenly?” she scoffed. “Do you really think I’d be scared of your boyfriend?”

“Why, you--” Aiba charged but Sho held his arm to hold him back.

“You’re quite aggressive,” Naomi remarked. “Maybe next time you should put your dog on a leash. He might bite someone.”

Suddenly, they heard footsteps coming from upstairs. “Daddy!” Yuji cried. The boy ran up to Sho, wrapping his arms around his leg. Naomi rolled her eyes.

Meanwhile, Hiro stood at the foot of the staircase, staring at Sho. Tears started to fall from his eyes. He rushed to him and embraced him as well. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he said over and over.

“You boys are really leaving me out, huh?” she said. “Let me remind you two that I am your mother.”

“No,” Hiro said to her. “You’re not. Yuji and I won’t be living with you either!”

“Why, you little shit!” She proceeded to raise her hand, but Aiba barged in and grabbed ahold of her wrist. The woman screamed, trying to shrug off Aiba’s grip, but failed. “Let go of me!” she said. “Let go of me you freak!” Aiba then let go. Naomi lost her balance and fell to the ground.

“Looks like you’re not so brave, after all,” Aiba said, looming over her.

Naomi grumbled and got back up on her feet. “Fine,” she said. “You win, for now.” Naomi then went to Sho and the two kids, who hid behind their father. “Go ahead and divorce me, but without me, you’ll be a burden to your parents. A faggot, that’s what you are; nothing more, nothing less.”

“That doesn’t matter to me,” Sho said. “At least, everyone will know what you really are as well.”

Naomi’s face twitched and she crumbled into frustration. She stormed off, going up the stairs and then down again, bringing her belongings. “See you in court then,” she said and walked out the door.

They all watched her go away, and once she was gone, Sho finally let out a sigh. Aiba went to put his hand on his shoulder and grinned at him. “You did well,” he said.

“You too.” Sho smiled. “Thank you for everything.”

“Does this mean daddy needs to find a new mommy then?” Yuji asked.

“Uh, I don’t think he is…” Hiro said.

Sho cleared his throat.

“What? It’s true, right?”

Aiba laughed and patted Hiro’s head. “It’s alright. He’ll figure it out someday.”

Sho knelt before Yuji. “No, we don’t, Yuji.” he said to him. “But, don’t worry; daddy’s going to find someone who’ll take care of us well.” He then glanced at Aiba, who looked back, and they smiled at each other.

***

“Cheers!” they all said in unison, and emptied their coffee mugs.

It was Mamoru and Mitsuru’s birthday party. Aiba had to reserve the whole fast food restaurant for all of them to have privacy. Their children were grouped together in one area; Reiko and Nino’s eldest son had to attend to ten children, including the twins, much to their dismay. The adults had their own table, just outside the venue, watching them through the glass panels. Nino and Jun’s wives were out to buy some presents, so the dads had no choice.

“I know this is going to sound weird but congrats on your divorce,” Jun said. “Hiro and Yuji are adorable, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Sho said. “It runs in the family.”

“Well, I’m just glad it’s over,” Ohno said. “And I don’t need to see that bitch anymore.”

“Okay, seriously, Ohno. Watch your language.”

“I know, I know… So, are you guys going to live together or not?” He asked, pointing back and forth at Aiba and Sho.

“We’re still thinking about it,” Aiba said.

Nino snorted. “Thinking? You guys currently live in the same apartment in Tokyo.”

“Well, Reiko says Aiba’s taking it slow,” Ohno said, raising his eyebrows.

“God, you’re such a pervert.” Jun put his hand over his forehead.

“Um, I have one question…” The five men then looked at Toma, the only bachelor among them, who was at the corner and listening to their conversation. “How are we going to handle the press?”

Aiba and Nino hummed, pondering for a while. “Let them have at it,” they said.

“B- But, what if there’s a backlash?”

“Who cares?” Ohno said.

“Yeah, like they say, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.” Jun stated and they all gave a nod.

Aiba then felt a tap on his shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” Sho said.

“Well, I don’t really mind, I’m used to it anyway.” Aiba said. “How about you? You up for it?”

A smile blossomed on Sho’s face. “Definitely.”


End file.
